Crazy

What a crazy morning.
I left my school around 8:15 to get to NKD's house by 9am. (My school and his house are 25 minutes apart.)
I was cruising along, ahead of schedule, when I heard on the radio that the freeway was closed up ahead do to an accident. Everyone was being forced off at the exit I was supposed to get off at. By the time I got to the exit, it was already 9:35. I only had 2 miles to travel to get to the downtown area, but at 2.5 miles per hour, it was taking way too long. Did I mention that NKD had to leave by 10:15 to pick up someone from the airport?
Very long story short, I got the swimmers and pulled into a hospital parking lot to send them on their way. It took 2 hours and 10 minutes to get there. Wow. What a story we will have to tell this kid.
The funny thing is, this is just a hail mary pass...as I am only on High on the CBEFM. Since I leave tomorrow morning for my epic road trip (first stop-Mt. Vernon, IL, second stop-Hope, AR, final destination-Austin, TX), I wanted to shoot some sperm up there, just in case I ovulate today, tomorrow, or Wednesday. If I O on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, I'm kinda screwed. I'm so glad I know that God has perfect timing. All is well.

CD11

Today I rec'd my first "High" on the CBEFM. For those of you that do not use it, a "normal" person can have anywhere between 3-5 days of "High" before the "Peak" arrives. However, I've never been quite normal. Even while on the Clo.mid (Jenny-I put the periods in brand names so people who search for clo.mid or kro.ger or anything brand-related do not arrive at my blog), I had more than 5 "High" days.
On 50mgs, I didn't ovulate in time, (or possibly at all) but I had "High" readings until I stopped taking them, from CD10-CD17.
On 100mgs, I had "Highs" from CD9-CD15, before getting a "Peak" on CD16 and ovulating on CD17.
So given all of that information, we are still in a bit of a waiting pattern. I will continue to OPK every afternoon. So far it's been completely start white, but time will tell. I am thinking that we may be able to do our first insem on Monday evening. (That is, of course if I am interpreting my body and charts right and if our donor is available.)

New Donor

Today we meet our PNKD, which, after today, will be hopefully be our NKD. We will get the contract signed and deliver his artwork that I have been working on. I will post a picture soon of what the final product ended up looking like.
I have been temping for the last week or so and have been very good about keeping up wiht my vitamins and Met.formin. I haven't been doing any OPKs or CBEFM sticks though. I ordered more OPKs and some instead cups online a few days ago and am eager to start peeing on sticks. However, I woke up today with a temp shift of +0.6 and my insides are on fire. I only feel this way when I am a) sick with a fever, or b) in my luteal phase. I don't feel sick, so perhaps I ovulated? on my own? the day before we get our donor contract signed? That would be a weird coincidence.
Of course, only time will tell and if I didn't O, then I will be calling the RE's office tomorrow to schedule an unnecessary blood test to confirm I am not pregnant (since I am CD42), and then on to the Clom.id. If I did O, then I wait the 2 weeks for the blood and then call the RE. Either way, we are well on our way to making a 2009 baby!

Looking forward to 2009

Guess what I did today? I started temping again.
Woot!
We got B's car back from the shop yesterday(did I mention here that we have been without her vehicle since before Christmas?) and it was just a teeny bit less than expected, which was a nice surprise. We still have 2 more wheels to fix, but we will get it done.

I am feeling very positive about 2009. It has to be better than 2008, and I fully expect it to be.
I'm excited that on January 6th I am starting a Biggest Loser club at work. I am hoping to have to drop out of it because of pregnancy, but if not, at least I will begin a pregnancy thinner than now.

I am also excited about getting our known donor contract all set. I combined one from our previous KD and one from our PNKD into one document. I sent it over to him for review last night, and all is well. We will (hopefully) be meeting up in the next week or so to get everything signed.

I am all paid up at the RE's office (except for a $400 insurance balance, that I will fight if I need to) and once everything is signed, will go back for monitoring. I am feeling more relaxed about everything since we are back to using fresh sperm.

I also know I am ready to hop back on this TTC train because I am actually enjoying reading about other peoples' pregnancies and babies. There was a while there when I was dreading each post, and I didn't like the person I was turning into.

There is hope in my heart again, and I love it.

Speaking of hope, our Obama sign is still outside our house. We refuse to take it down until he is sworn in. Apparently a few of our neighbors have the same idea.

Tomorrow I will do my annual Year in Pictures Review.

Quick Update

• My mom's in the hospital. She had an angioplasty on Tuesday and had some complications. She is in a lot of pain and cannot walk, but is doing much better everyday.
• Our little man, Joey, is at the kitty hospital. He stopped eating, got a liver infection, jaundiced, and then was hospitalized. He will be there until tomorrow at least. My sister, God love her, offered to help us cover the $650+ vet bill that is expected and we can pay her back weekly.
• I'm on CD43 and I started temping again this week.
• Next week will we most likely sign a new donor agreement with PNKD.
• After the agreement is signed, if I haven't started yet, I will hit up the RE for a not-needed-why-am-i-paying-for-this pregnancy test and a prescription for pro.vera to jump start my cycle.
• Then CD3 ultrasound, clo.mid, and trigger.
• Then home insems. =)
• I'm sure we will be in the TWW before we know it...

Happy October!

I can't believe its been almost a year since we started this blog and the ride on the TTC train. We had actually started before October 2007 with research and charting, but we got our donor on board in October and did our first insem in November 2007. Wow. A year. I know that many of you have done way more than that, but still, a year. Hmm.
Somehow, with the grace of God, we were able to pay the $501 to have B's car fixed. I had been tucking some money away in the credit union and I guess it adds up quicker than I thought. Plus we both had uncashed checks in our respective purses, so it worked out. Thank God.
Another positive note is we have been talking to a possible new known donor. (PNKD?) We have been emailing back and forth and he seems great, so now we wait for references. He's pretty local and already has 3 kids from his marriage and 3 pregnancies on the way. Sounds good to me. =)
B was off today and put up all of our fall decorations. I. Love. It. Fall is my favorite season and to come home to the house smelling like autumn was fantabulous. What a great start to the weekend!
I'm also kind of itching to get back to temping...crazy, I tell ya!

Ok, ok, ok...

I get it, thanks for all of the advice!
We are going through Cryogenic Laboratories and their cost is $345/vial (but I calculated it with the shipping cost of $190) . So that is where I ended up with the $600 number. I wish we could have afforded 2 vials this time, and perhaps we could have, but I need to make sure the shipping charge is just per ship, not per vial.
Tomorrow, if B doesn't work too long, I am going to have her call the insurance company and see how we go about this reimbursement process. I am sure there will be a ton of red tape to sift through. The funny thing is, when I placed the order, my debit was charged immediately, since then, the sperm has been shipped, but the debit was credited back to my account. I'm not quite understanding, but if it doesn't straighten itself out in the next few days I will call. I already called once and left them a message about it, but no one seems to mind just yet. Perhaps they will debit it again once they have confirmation of delivery?

Tonight marks my official entrance into Summer. I have been at a workshop all week, so have been unable to truly enjoy the end of school. Tomorrow is my first real day off. Woot! Woot!

And a triple Woot! goes out to Baby Judith's two mommies! Congratulations ladies!

Cost Analysis

So as our first vial of sperm was shipped to the clinic today, I am starting to do some number manipulating in my mind. As many of you know, our KD recently moved away to attend grad school and to be closer to his so. This cut him out of our baby-making process.
With each IUI costing around $600/vial, $250 per insemination, and $100 lab fee, that sure does add up. We just won't have that kind of money available to us on a regular basis(we have no credit cards and live solely off cash). So I was thinking, that we may want to spend the money we would have spent on sperm to ship me off to KD's state for 4-6 days and just do the inseminations myself. There are a few things to consider before jumping to this system.
1. Would KD still be willing to help? He's a pretty busy guy.
2. Being away from B for that long would be very, very hard. (I know others can do it, but the longest we have been apart from each other over these past 8 years has been 2 nights.)
3. KD has never had a sperm analysis done. We should do that first before committing to travel time.
4. Perhaps this one lonely IUI we have scheduled for this cycle will take and we won't have to even consider this option.
5. What if ovulation occurs during summer school (most likely yes, but I do have every Friday off and would be able to take a day or two off if needed).
So what do you guys think?

It's been a while.

As of yesterday, the hospital thinks that Mr. Brayden will be able to come home today. Awesome. He is such a handsome little fellow. I am so excited for his family.

In our baby-makin news...I have been off the pro.vera for 3 days now, so hopefully the blood will arrive shortly so I can schedule the HSG. My face is breaking out like crazy, so I hope it is a good sign. We have also narrowed down our donor selection to our top 4 and B will schedule our counseling appointment today. I'm still on the Met.formin...and haven't lost any weight (I was hoping for that side effect), but it will most likely be much easier next week when Teacher Appreciation Week is over. Apparently people like to appreciate teachers with delicious, yummy goodness.

My sister's wedding is so quickly approaching, 3 weeks from today. EEk. Her "personal shower" is tomorrow at my mom's friend's house. I love my sister, but I just want this wedding to be over. I have to keep reminding myself that this will be her only wedding, so I should be revelling in each moment, but it is very hard when we are so very busy.

I take my National Board test a week from tomorrow. I haven't studied. I think I am past the panic mode, so I will do what I can this week and accept the results. Since the questions are constructed response, it is hard to "study" per se, but I should be practicing, and I am not. Total slacker.

In two weeks we are taking all of our 5th graders to camp. I don't camp. The outdoors and I do not get along so well. This will be an experience. The 5th graders go every year and they look forward to it all year. At least there will be cabins, and running water...and it's only for 2 days and one night. I can handle it...hopefully.

Fred Phelps is coming to protest at my University today at noon. I wish I could join the counter-demonstrations. Hopefully the peaceful circle will drown out his hate-filled message.

So that's it for now.

Rocking Chair

My mom had a garage sale last summer in which several families, including ours, brought all of our items together to sell. Well, there was this white wooden rocking chair there. Since my family still doesn't know we are even trying, I told her I wanted it for my classroom. It's been sitting in her garage for almost a year now. Today I brought it home.
I also bought roman shades for the spare room/future nursery's windows. A nice sage green.
I am getting very excited about a medically supported insemination. Something I never thought I would utter, but alas, ideas and ideals change.
I, like B, took some time to check out some donor profiles online. There are basically 5 characteristics I need: IUI, Negative CMV IGG and IGM, RH negative, Caucasian, and positive pregnancies. Ultimately, I would like B to make the decision, but I have chosen some favorites. Has anyone ever worked with the Cryogenics Labs, Inc. in Minnesota? They were one of 3 banks our RE suggested.
I have stopped temping now, until after the HSG. I started pro.vera yesterday, and hopefully will see CD1 within 10 days. Let's get this party started!

"So that's it, eh? You and the frozen pop are havin a baby?"

That line is taken from one of my all-time favorite movies: Look Who's Talk.ing. It came into my head this morning while searching through dozens of donor profiles at various sperm bank websites. Did you guys know that there are literally THOUSANDS of men out there doin their thang and getting paid? And that because of that we have to sift through all those THOUSANDS of profiles to try to find a match who not only looks a little bit like me but who is also not a killer?

It is pretty fun though. We love KD and are incredibly grateful for his...er...assistance these past few months, but it's kind of exciting to be able to pick someone who looks a little more like me. So that when people see me with her/him they won't automatically assume that "daddy must have had the dominant genes".

I found a profile this morning that I fell in love with, who claims that he likes to "go against the grain" and that his future children will be "sensitive, unusual and kind." He had me at unusual. For me that's code for "complete dork who will be teased mercilessly for an extensive knowledge of biohazardous particles and their love of REM." SWEET. All seems well until I realized that this person could quite possibly be spending a good portion of their lives writing Fan Fic or playing W.o.W. - probably with my co-workers, nonetheless. It's not a total turn-off, just food for thought.

And then there's the profile essay-turned-therapy session where potential donor describes his family dynamic as "strained" and where "sincerity rarely creeps in" because his parents divorced when he was a kid and he only saw his dad once every other week. Not that I'm opposed to honesty, but I've got enough family drama in my life and don't need to add any more - even by way of genetics.

But with all the fun comes the stress of making sure the donor not only looks like me but carries similar beliefs and a sense of humor, which is certainly not easy. There are ways (if you spend an astronomical amount of money) to get more detailed information on your potential donor, but nothing will ever take the place of a face-to-face conversation. I sift through these profiles and wonder where these guys came from, what kinds of things do they feel strongly about, do they treat the women in their lives well, do they have strong friendships and social circles, are they able to laugh at little things, do they believe in social justice...but they don't tell you that on a donor profile. We don't have the luxury of peeking into the daily lives of these men, we just have to hold out hope that the way they're representing themselves on paper is an accurate description of their lives. It is the biggest leap of faith I have ever encountered, even bigger than deciding to have children in the first place.

Someday, no matter how it happens, I hope we'll be able to give our children a little of each of us and the inherent stuff will take a back seat, no matter which donor we pick.

Even if he likes Star Wars - a LOT. And even if our insems start to look a little like this: