Gun shots

I was doing so well with keeping my chart looking nice and then this morning, at 3am, we were startled out of bed by the sound of gun shots. The dogs went wild. For a moment I thought someone had broken into the house. Luckily, that was not the case, although I'm not sure what did happen.
It did prevent me from taking my bbt. I had to store my fmu in the fridge to use in the cbefm...uh..ew...the things you do when ttc.
The monitor has been giving me HIGH readings for the past few days, but anybody playing along at home with us knows that doesn't mean anything. The OPK two days ago was darker than the one yesterday, so who knows. I will keep testing. Everyday.
More and more of my blog reader friends are pregnant with their first or second baby. There are not too many of us out there in our boat. Still trying since 2007....
This time of year has been especially difficult this year. Last year we found out we were pregnant on March 31st. We told my parents on Easter Sunday. And then comes Mother's Day. I am a mother, but so few people consider me so.

I said yes.

So I am going off the Met and will be entering the study in 2 months. The study will include u/s monitoring, bloodwork, and either clomid or femara (double blind...I think that is what you call it).

I will continue to monitor myself with the CBEFM, OPKs, etc, but no Met. If I get a surge, I get a surge. NKD is flexible, available, and willing. God love him.

The only question I have, is if I get pregnant while not being on the study, will being off the Met cause a problem. Should I jump back on it as soon as I see those double lines? I will cross that road when we get to it...oh how I hope we have to cross that road.

Anyway, Elana nominated me for a little blog award, so here it is:

I have to say 10 things about myself and then give this award to 10 fellow bloggers.

Here we go!

10 Things About Me:

1) I am a 5th grade teacher in a very small school district outside of Ann Arbor, MI.

2) I collect children's books and my classroom library is huge.

3) I'I had petit mal epilepsy as a child. My last seizure was when I was 12.

4) I haven't eaten any red meat (or pork..which is still red meat in my book) since 1994.

5) I am vomit-phobic and haven't thrown-up since I was in 5th or 6th grade. Not even when I was pregnant.

6) I am pretty good at self-diagnosing myself with the help of Dr. Google. In 2001 I knew I had Scarlet Fever. B laughed at me and called me Beth from Little Women. After a trip to Urgent Care, it was confirmed. That sh*t knocked me out for a good month.

7) I was dating someone else when I met B. Our mutual friends worked hard to get us together. Almost 10 years later, here we are.

8) I put my deodorant on with my right hand, both arms. I look like a monkey for a second, but I never have to switch hands.

9) My dad was the only one of his brother and sister born here. My aunt and uncle were born in Scotland where my dad's family is from (Paisley, outside of Glasgow). My dad was a bagpiper and in a pipe band until his bag-pipers were stolen. I've never been over there to see it or visit family.

10) I am very good at making people laugh. B and I laugh almost uncontrollably at least once a day. We are hilarious.

I give this award to:

Caroline at Finding My Place in the World

Stacey at Desperately Seeking Baby (Mission 2)

Wendy at 2 Moms-It can be done

JackieMac at Is it my turn yet?

Heidi at Thinking Miracles

Poppy at eeney meeney miney mommy

L at Equation of Hope

N at Two hot mamas

Busted at Busted Babymaker

tbean at Looking for a little turtle

Advice Needed-WWYD?

So the nurse got back with me today. In order to be in the study, I have to be off Metformin for 2 months.
What do you think?
Should I stop the Met and continue to monitor myself for 2 months and then enter the study or should I not do the study and stay on the Met.
Opinions please.

CD3

Today is CD3. This will hopefully be my last cycle on our own before the study. They have all of my paper work, so I hope to hear from the nurse sometime next week.
I am going to be an expert charter this cycle. I am not forgetting to put anything down, including my meds. I even created new check boxes for my vitamins, folgard, and baby aspirin.
When I get my first high on the CBEFM I will begin using OPKs. Last year, at this time, I was in the TWW that would produce Sprout. Wouldn't it be ironic if we became pregnant and got admitted to the study at the same time. I'll take the irony. Really. I will.

Possibly CD1

Today may or may not be CD1.
Based on my temps I did not ovulate, so this could just be "breakthrough bleeding" and not my period. It's light and spotty right now, so we will see.
All of my paperwork was faxed into the University for the PCOS study today. Hopefully they will get back to me shortly and we can get this party started. I sure hope I qualify.

Song Lyrics

We sang a beautiful song at Praise and Worship service tonight. I wanted to share the chorus lyrics with you.

I pray for you , you pray for me.
I love you, I need you to survive.
I won't harm you with words from my mouth.
I love you, I need you to survive.

It is his will, that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.

While the Praise Team was singing (and the congregation along with them), I couldn't help but think of a troubled young boy I have in my class. He lives with his grandmother and has had quite the tumultuous childhood. He has been moved back and forth among three families, in and out of different schools. He is diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bi-polar Disorder, and ADHD. His drug/alcohol addicted dad has recently come back into the picture and is trying to regain custody (again). Although his living situation with grandma and grandpa is not ideal, it is stable and loving...going with dad may not be. Last week he went after his grandma with a bunk bed ladder, threatened to run away and said he was going to kill himself. Grandma called 911 and he was taken to the local hospital's psych unit. He's been in school since the incident and I kept thinking about him last night while at church. I am going to pull him aside today and remind him that he is important to me, and I need him to survive. If you are the praying type, feel free to include little D and his family in your prayers.

January 29, 2008/January 29, 2010

I was looking back at my cycles for one in which I had a very late ovulation. Funny enough, the last time I had a very late ovulation like this cycle was 2 years ago to the date.
During that cycle, I ovulated on CD48 (which would be today). I have had a few signs suggesting impending ovulation, but the OPK is still negative. It got dark for a while and then lightened up considerably. It started getting dark again yesterday. We will see.
God has perfect timing.
The PCOS nurse researcher who approved me over the phone is just waiting for my consent forms and then she will take my case to the doctor. If he approves me to be a part of the study then my first visit has to be during my period. Gotta love those CD3 u/s...yuck. So this timing could be perfect.
I haven't been commenting on many blogs lately. I'm still reading, really I am.

More medical talk

I talked with the nurse a few times today. Apparently I have the heterozygous mthfr a1298c mutation. No biggie. My homocysteine level was 3.5, so in the low range. The nurse said the doc was not worried about it at all. She did prescribe some folgard which is just folic acid and a b complex vitamin combined.
When I get my actual test results with all of the numbers, I will post them here.
I did find out that my fasting glucose level was 98 and my 2 hour was 165. Normal is 70-139 so I was put in the "prediabetes" range. I am supposed to follow up with my pcp.
Once I get the copy of my bloodwork and NKD's consent form I will fax it all to the folks doing the PCOS in Pregnancy study.

A new round of positives

I've had at least 3 blogger friends get their BFPs in the last two weeks....here's hoping everyone that is trying can follow suit.
I feel like we haven't tried in forever, but it's been less than a month. I am still waiting for this cycle to end. I am on CD46. My temps have been erratic, so I am just waiting for the cycle to end. I can't wait to start up again. I am sending in my paperwork for the PCOS study today, so perhaps it is good that my body is waiting. They probably will want to do some early cycle bloodwork anyway.
Everything is moving in the right direction.

Test Results

The nurse left me a message yesterday and said that everything came out normal...except my glucose tolerance test. She said after my 2-hour draw my glucose levels were higher than they wanted them to be, which puts me in the "pre-diabetic" category.
I am going to request a copy of all of my results so I will be able to tell more when I get that.
I also passed the initial phone screening for the PCOS and Pregnancy clinical trial and have to send in the consent form on Monday.
I feel like everything is moving in the right direction.
Now I just have to get my "pre-diabetic" levels in line.

Waiting...

Waiting for test results....they should be available in a couple of weeks.
Waiting for ovulation...I'm currently on CD40something (see, I've lost track). Since I am heading off to a conference on the other side of the state, I have also decided to stop temping and OPKing while I am there.
Waiting to hear about a medical study for women with PCOS...this would mean free u/s monitoring, clomid or new drug to induce ovulation, bloodwork, etc.
Oh, and waiting for May 1st. (When B gives me the go-ahead to talk about it, I will share....but I haven't asked her yet.)

Glucose Test

I had my Glucose Tolerance Test today. It wasn't so bad. What was bad was my appointment was scheduled for 7:15am. They didn't call me back until after 8. (Meanwhile, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since 6pm the night before.) Anyway, at 10:30 I was finally able to leave.
The drink tasted like a thick, flat sierra mist/sprite. I had to psych myself up to drink it. I practically chugged the styrofoam cup full of goo.
All in all, they took 13 vials of blood from me. THIRTEEN.
Hopefully the tests will give us some answers.
2 weeks.

OPKs

OPKs are relatively dark.
Somedays I wish I had an ultrasound machine.
Or at least a little indicator like on a turkey that pops up when I'm about to ovulate.
NKD comes back into town soonish. (I'm not sure when..but I think sometime this weekend)
However, he is gone more in the next two months than he is here. Bummer.
Perhaps we will have Divine timing.

I am at the Michigan Association of Middle School Educator's conference this week. Last year I attended this conference as well. We got pregnant the weekend after the conference last year...I'm just sayin.. =)

Back at it

So I started temping again.
I am still not convinced I ever O'ed, so I am also back on the OPKs.
I was able to pick up my Met.formin XR last night. Woot.
I guess I should call the doctor and ask if I need to not take it before my glucose tolerance test.
I'm guessing no.
Today and tomorrow I am out of the classroom to attend a conference for middle school educators.
I'm presenting a couple of sessions with my bff on co-teaching.

Your first born

We were sitting at the computers for our staff meeting yesterday to access a website about our students. Before you can access the site, you have to agree to a list of privacy rules.
One of my fellow teachers was sitting next to me and she was a step behind me on the process. I told her I already clicked "I agree" and she jokingly said, "Oh, you didn't see you had to give away your first born child?"
I half-heartedly smiled.
She didn't mean any harm or hurt from her little quip.
It still stung though.

I am also reading Elizabeth McCracken's book An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination that my friend Karen lent to me. It's not quite the same as what I went through, but amazingly similar emotions.

"This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending," writes Elizabeth McCracken in her powerful, inspiring memoir. A prize-winning, successful novelist in her 30s, McCracken was happy to be an itinerant writer and self-proclaimed spinster. But suddenly she fell in love, got married, and two years ago was living in a remote part of France, working on her novel, and waiting for the birth of her first child.This book is about what happened next. In her ninth month of pregnancy, she learned that her baby boy had died. How do you deal with and recover from this kind of loss? Of course you don't--but you go on. And if you have ever experienced loss or love someone who has, the company of this remarkable book will help you go on.With humor and warmth and unfailing generosity, McCracken considers the nature of love and grief. She opens her heart and leaves all of ours the richer for it."

Somewhat Uneventful

My appointment yesterday was just that. We walked into a waiting room full of pregnant bellies. There were two counters to sign in, one for seeing the doctor and one for the ultrasound. It seems like many of the women go from one end to the other. (with a lot of waiting in between)
When we got back there the nurse took my vitals and a brief history. Then the Physician's Assistant took a more thorough history (still asking the same question). Then we were ushered to the doctor's office to answer the same questions again.

She asked about the Metformin and I mentioned my concern about the intestinal distress and she said, "Well you can try the XR, but really good diet and exercise may help you lose weight."
huh?

I'm not sure how the two were related or if she just wanted to bring up the point that I'm a fatty. What I didn't tell her (and hindsight is 20/20) is that I have lost 12 pounds in the last 2 months and am eating even better than I was before. I will admit, however, that I could be exercising more.

I did feel much better after she looked at my chart and commented on the spotting I had. She said, "We don't like spotting. It's not good." My past ob/gyn didn't think anything of it. "Just put your feet up" they would say. I'm glad Dr. V is a bit more proactive. She did seem to hint that she wasn't a fan of our old RE. (Even though while waiting for the "exam" I was reading a local magazine that ranked our old RE as the top in the field.) Dr. V told us we may find what we are looking for in someone else. Maybe we will do some RE shopping.

I left the office with a list of blood tests to be performed. I'm making a list here so I know what results to ask for. She told me I had to do the 2 hour glucose test. Ugh. I'm not even pregnant and I have to endure the GTT. I'm not excited about that. However, since my mom has diabetes, it's better to be safe than sorry. My sugar levels have never been elevated before, but alas, I will abide by doctor's orders. Does anyone know if I have to stop taking the Metformin before that test? I forgot to ask, but I assume it could mess up my numbers since it's a diabetes drug too.

Anyway, the tests I am having administered:
Fasting prolactin
Fasting 2hr GTT
Fasting Homocystein
TSH
T4
T4 (Free)
Glyco-HGB
MTHFR Gen. Mut.
Fac. II PT. Mut
Fact. V Ledien
Antithroambn Pnl
Cardiolpn IGG/M
Lupus antcoag B
Protein C Total
Protein S Total

My appointment is 7:15am on Saturday.

Oh, and I'm CD33 and my temp was 98.0 this morning. I still have no idea if I ovulated or not. I called my ob/gyn's office yesterday and left a message to see if I can get switched to Metformin XR. I had to leave the name of my pharmacy and phone number. If I don't hear from them, I will check at the pharmacy.

Happy March!

Spring is coming! Spring is coming!
Of course it doesn't mean that the snow is over, but I can feel Spring in the distance. Our winter hasn't been horrible with the amount of snow, or even the cold temperatures, but I am still ready for Spring!

Today is my appointment with the Maternal and Fetal Medicine doctor. I am hoping to get some testing done and possibly some drugs. If she can switch me to Metformin Xr, I will be most grateful. Also, I know she's not an RE, but if she can save me a trip to another doctor and prescribe me some provera to jump start my period and some clomid to help with the next cycle, I'd appreciate that too. The worst that can happen if I ask is she says no.

Today is CD32. I don't think I have had a temp shift (I stopped temping last week), but I guess I should take one BBT this week to determine what phase/stage I am in in my cycle.
I guess only time will tell...or a fancy ultrasound, but I don't have one of those machines. (Wouldn't that be nice though? We could do all the fertility monitoring we want!)