Surprised again.

Today is CD10 and I had my first HIGH on the monitor. I have been so concerned and consumed with the Met.for.min side effects that I didn't notice the impending ovulation!

My temps have been wonky because I'm on vacation and not taking them at the same time consistently and the temps in our house have differed greatly each night as well. I have to find the right balance of blankets and furnace heat. (I've now put plastic on some of the windows downstairs and am considering covering some of the windows upstairs...our house is old and poorly insulated.)

If the CBEFM is correct and my body cooperates, I will typically have 6 days of HIGH before the first PEAK. Sometimes I ovulate the night before the PEAK, sometimes I ovulate the day of the first PEAK and sometimes I ovulate on the day of the second PEAK. I will be saving my sticks and OPKs again this month to see the surge. (This worked quite well last month, with a textbook case of ovulation-go me!)

I emailed NKD this morning to check his availability. I am worried with the holiday, he may be out of town. I know his kids start back to school on the 4th though and he usually has them on Mondays, so at the least, I can squeeze a couple in. Hopefully though, we can do one on the 2nd, 4th, and 5th. We will see.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. We will be attending a burning bowl service at our church (which I blogged about last year.) Sadly, our former KD will not be able to share NYE with us, as has been our tradition for the past 5 years, because he lives in Boston now and is already back home. Luckily I was able to spend an afternoon with him while he was here for a short holiday visit.

We are having a small group of people from church come over to ring in the new year with us. Our minister is coming too and will be doing a midnight meditation. How cool are we? We have 2 full time ministers at our church of over 2000, one being Rev. Ric. Ric is openly gay and an all around great person. We are so privileged to call him our friend and are happy to be spending the last moments of 2009 and the first moments of 2010 with him. It's going to be a blue moon and a partial eclipse. What a special NYE!

*edited to add* NKD is available! God love him!

NYE Wishing Wall

Do you know about the Times Square NYE Wishing Wall? Apparently people can write down their wishes for the new year and each wish will be placed with the confetti that is dropped over Times Square when the ball drops.
L, who is visiting NYC, wrote out a wish for B and I...and you can guess what it says. She is so thoughtful!
Of course I googled the wall as soon as I heard, and I found that you can create your own wish, even if you are not in NYC and they will print it out for you. How cool!

NYE Times Square Wishing Wall

The Met.

Today is day 7 of this cycle, and day 7 of being on "The Met." (Met. for.min)
I am doing ok, but it is still giving me stomach distress. I believe it is the ultimate diet pill, because if I eat too much, I'm in the bathroom. If I eat the wrong kind of stuff, I'm in the bathroom. I haven't quite figured out the right balance of foods yet to keep me out of the bathroom. I was thinking of going up to 2 pills tomorrow (working my way to the 3 a day I was on before), but I do not think my body is ready. I believe I will know when I know.

If you are the praying type, please keep my friend L in your prayers. She is currently visiting NYC and got some horrible news about her father. He is now in ICU and needs all the prayers he can get. I know that she would appreciate it.

Christmas was good. Hope everyone is enjoying their time with family. Only one thing could have made this year even better, but I know 2010 will be the year to remember!

Happy Anniversary!

It's been a wonderful 9 years. I can't wait for year 10...sure to be the best one yet!
Happy Anniversary B!

I just looked out the window next to the computer desk and saw a little chickadee perched on a broken branch. So sweet. Maybe it's a sign from God to move to Maine or Massachusetts...

So great

In spite of our own disappointment, it's hard not to be happy for our friends in the TTC world who get the best news.

Gayby Rabies just got word that she's expecting...and expecting...and expecting! Go wish her congrats and send her your stickiest vibes!

So exciting!!

BFN..again.

Af arrived at noon today. Happy Holidays to me. =/

Where was my temp dip warning?!?! I've never had an 11 day luteal before..wth?

I'll start back on the Met. tonight.

12DPO

I feel like AF is right around the corner. Yesterday I was having some cramping and the watery CM has started. All 3 times I have had positive tests have always happened by now (at 12DPO). I'm trying not to get discouraged, but it is hard when my body is giving me so many AF signs.
My temp was still high this morning, but it may dive tomorrow. Time will tell. The HPTs are still negative, with no hint of a line. (I guess this is better than those last two cycles where we got our hopes up, only to have AF follow shortly afterward.)
Today, in my inbox was the daily meditation from my church. I found it appropriate:

Dear God, Prepare the way in our hearts for the miracle of Christmas.
Soften those places in us that have hardened. Breathe new life into our dry
bones. We want to experience the fullness of Your presence in us. Help us to be
prepared to receive Your gift. Amen

10DPO

No news. We picked up some Doll.ar Store HPTs last night, and it was stark white this morning. Still way early, so hope is not lost.
I've had no other symptoms though either.
Occasional nausea..but that seems to be related to hunger, and it is different than my MS before.
Extreme tiredness...but I am attributing that to the holiday season and 75 excited 10 year olds.
I am pretty sure I will test everyday until we have an answer. (We bought 5 tests last night and my usual luteal phase is 13 days.)

Congrats!

Such good news in the IVP world today. Congratulations go out to our friends Jen and Tiff on the birth of Connor James! Also, Laurie and Heather had their beautiful son Ryan Matthew!

I wish J and I could be part of the club too, but I have strong faith that we will have our good news to share very soon.

Happy Thursday everyone!

That's better

Just what I wanted to see this morning:

6dpo

I had a rather interesting temp dip this morning....down to the coverline.
If it was a week from today, I would assume AF was showing, but I have to attribute the dip to something else this early in the game.

Either:
a) it's an implantation dip or
b) it was colder last night, and my temperature reflected it this morning

My face broke out yesterday as well.

Keep those fingers crossed.

Picture Meme

Rules are:

1. Copy and paste the meme from the person that tagged you.

2. Run a Google image search on your answer to the question.

3. Choose a relevant image that suits your taste and needs.

4. Add a description.

5. Tag four innocent bystanders to pass the thing on, and leave a comment on their blog so they know what’s up.

6. Have fun!

Place I was born: Detroit, MI

Place I grew up: East Detroit, MI (now known as Eastpointe) Where I live now: Harper Woods, MI High School Mascot: Shamrocks Favorite wild animal: Giraffe Favorite vacation spot: Toronto (although we haven't really gone anywhere on vacation...)Favorite sports team: Detroit Tigers

Favorite Movie: Dirty Dancing My age right now: 30
My hobby: Playing around on the internet(I like to do crafts and things too, but I spend most of my time on the computer)Favorite color: Yellow
Favorite Song: I don't really have a favorite song. I like all music. My secret love is ghetto rap.

Favorite book: It's Ok to be Different by Todd Parr (yes, a children's book, but a wonderful message!)Favorite clothing brand: I don't really have a favorite brand. I just buy whatever is on sale. Better yet is the clearance. I do not pay full price for anything. My job or career: 5th grade teacher Favorite television show: The Mentalist
My addiction: Bejeweled Blitz! My weakness: Chocolate and Peanut Butter
My favorite food: Potatoes
Tag your it! (I'm not actually going to tag anyone, since this one did take a long time to do, but feel free to copy and consider yourself tagged!)

We have crosshairs!

Since Jake ate my thermometer, I had to buy a new one (that seems to be working quite well, but giving me temps a few tenths lower than typical.) I switched to the new thermometer on CD17. Our timing looks right on to me. How can I only be 3DPO though?!?! You will also notice on the chart that I was sick for a greater part of this cycle. I still have a cough, but for the most part am better. That fever kicked my a$$. B, however, is still sick. She coughs all through the night and does not get a very good night's sleep. Please send all of your healing vibes to her. Thanks!

5 more days until Winter Break!

So excited

I'm so excited about this TWW. I am ever hopeful that it will end most perfectly. Today I had my temp shift, so the timing looks like it was perfect. I will continue to temp to confirm ovulation and to keep FF happy!
For those of you that have been reading us for a while, you may remember that on the day we found out we were pregnant with Sprout our van was broken into and someone attempted to steal it. That was the day that my dad was going in for surgery as well, and both of us had to take an unexpected day off.
Yesterday (our EDD for Sprout..and possibly our conception day for this new little Buttercup) was very similar. I loaded up Raiter (B's Vibe) and headed out the driveway to school. I got to the end of our block and the check engine light went on and it nearly stalled. I pressed the accelerator and nothing happened. With the grace of God I was able to coast the car around the block and park in back in front of our house. Previous to this, B and I have been trading off being sick for the past 2 months. She has had most of the sickness. (basic cold/strep/etc.) Anyway, she hadn't slept at all that night (coughing) so she ended up staying home with the car and I took the van to work.
Today it is my turn. I was supposed to have a seminar today, but it was cancelled due to the weather at the last minute yesterday afternoon. Since I would hate to put perfectly good sub plans to waste, I am embracing the opportunity. It really did work out quite well.
My plan for today is to get caught up on grading...my stack is huge and possibly get some dishes done (boy have they been piling up!)

Today is the day...

our 2010 baby was conceived.
I am almost positive.
I have never been more confident on timing than I am today.
OPK was nearly positive yesterday, today's CBEFM stick was nearly PEAK and then I did an OPK at school and it was positive. No doubt about it.
I did an insem after school and will do one more tomorrow after school again.
I also put up the Christmas tree tonight to surprise B. We weren't planning on putting up any decorations, but I had a change of heart. This new found optimism is wonderful.

*edited to add* As of 4:45 this morning...we have a PEAK reading!

CD14

Today was day 5 of HIGH on the CBEFM. If I was "normal" I would have a PEAK tomorrow. OPK was not positive today. Darker..but not positive.
I have decided to keep all of my OPK and CBEFM to compare day to day. I love obsessing.
Speaking of obsessing, I cannot obsess over my temperature for the next day or so because Mr. Jakerpants decided to chew mine to bits. He even chewed off the tip. I need to purchase another one, perhaps tomorrow.
My friend who we purchased our crib from a while ago (in fact, we still owe her some money on it), would like us to pick it up from her house this week. She wants the space in her house, and it is totally understandable..just a bit unexpected, on the week of our EDD...
I've been a bit emotional lately, with the holidays (which I am not in the spirit for), the EDD, babies being born, being sick, etc....I'm hoping it gets better soon. Hopefully once we are in another TWW, I will have something to keep my mind occupied. And then the new year will start...and it will be a blank slate. 2010 will be our best year yet.

Surprise...

I got my first high on the monitor this morning.
Yesterday's OPK was darker than I expected.
If last cycle was anovulatory...and I don't really know if it was or not...will I ovulate earlier this time?
I am doing all I can to convince my brain that I am not already pregnant and the weird bleeding (def. not a normal period) I had was just regular early pregnancy spotting. I know this is not true, but TTC minds play terrible tricks on us. After seeing the dark OPK yesterday, I even googled "opk as hpt" I know there is a simple way to prove my brain wrong, but I refuse to use my last hpt in the house because it is an "expensive" one. I'm so crazy.
Ugh.
Also, I am still coughing, but my fever has broken! After 10 days of a fever, I am happy to be done with it. However, B is now coughing too, which makes bed-time fairly hard. We were both up last night hacking away. Today she leaves for a conference up north. Just one night, but I will miss her. Send her safe travel vibes and wishes for no snow.

Still sick

I feel so boring lately.
I have nothing new to report.
I'm still sick.
I will go to work tomorrow, even thought I shouldn't.
I am in the boring follicular stage of my cycle.
I haven't started the Met yet, since I am still sick and am now on antibiotics.
Hopefully life gets a little more exciting, in a good way, soon enough.
I am proud, though, of getting through the whole month and still posted every day.

Upper Respitory Infection

Still diagnosed as a URI. I went to the urgent care today, after much prodding from my mom and B. No new news. The doc did give me a z-pack in case it is strep (I wouldn't let them do a rapid strep test since I do not allow people to put things in my mouth).
Rest, tyl.enol, and fluids.
I am on day 8 of this fever.
I think today may be the last day though. I haven't had a fever since early this afternoon. This is the longest I have gone without one in 8 days!
Maybe temping will commence as usual tomorrow morning!

Shopping

B and I have a little bit of a tradition of picking out our own Christmas gifts and then waiting until Christmas (or Pearl Harbor Day...inside joke) to open them.
She is currently shopping online.
As much as I love getting what I want, I kind of want to scrap this tradition and go back to keeping the gifts secret.
We don't spend a lot of money on each other, anywhere between $20-40. We both believe it is the thought that matters most...what are your gift giving traditions?

Gobble Gobble!

I hope everyone is enjoying their day of Thanks (if you celebrate it)
Today, both B and I are home sick, so we will not be partaking in the festivities at my sister's house.
Mom is bringing leftovers later. Mmmm.
I am thankful today for wonderful family and friends, both in real life and not, chosen and given.
I am truly blessed.
I am also thankful for the wonderful 15 weeks we were able to spend with our Little Sprout.
In two weeks it would have been our EDD. With the holidays and the EDD around the corner, I'm a wee bit emotional.
I get great strength from my family and friends.
I love you guys.

Holiday Cards

I got an email advertisement a few weeks ago which earned me 100 free photo prints. I took the opportunity to print up some fun holiday pics of B and I. I received them in the mail today.
They did not come out as good as I wanted, but they are cheesily terrific.
I have ONE HUNDRED of them. We have no where near 100 friends. What was I thinking?
I never told B about my plan, so she is going to be surprised. Perhaps I'll send them out every year until they are gone..lol.
Anyone want a holiday card from our household?? Email me your address. =)

pairofmoms {a} gmail . com

In other news..I feel like crap-ola today. I don't think I am even going to make it to Thanksgiving dinner. I made stuffing and mashed potatoes for lunch today. If I can't make it to Thanksgiving, I will make it myself. This is my favorite food holiday of the year. Plus mashed potatoes and stuffing (and pudding for dessert) are wonderful comfort foods and are easy to swallow.

Verdict

Verdict is in....Upper Respiratory Infection.
Fluids, sleep, and Tyle.nol.
I have yet to start the Met.
I will do it when I begin to feel better.

The weirdness continues

So yesterday, after AF arrived..she was gone before I knew it.
I also was running a fever of 100.8.
Today I still have the fever and had a very light period day, and now I'm back to just barely there spotting.
Can a fever screw up your bleeding?
I am calling my PCP tomorrow to see if he needs to see me.
Other than the fever and a slight tickle in my throat (and feeling hot and cold) and being a bit tired...I'm totally fine.
Luckily tomorrow is a half day, then I am off for the holiday.

She's here...

Blood arrived at 12:30pm today.
Here's to next month.

Chart..again

A few days ago, I made a list of all the possible reasons my temp could still be elevated.

I never considered I could be sick...I woke up with a very high temp this morning, and after I took my temp again (after being up and moving around) it was 99.4. Feverish.

Aside from being hot, and a slight tickle in my throat that is causing a cough, I feel fine.

I took out ovulation dates on FF and this is what my chart looks like:

I still haven't started bleeding, just brownish spotting. This is the oddest month I've ever seen, and I have had some pretty weird cycles.

Elana-I did not start the Met because even though I know it has been found to prevent miscarriage in women with PCOS, my doctor said that results are inconclusive about the safety of starting it when already pregnant. She said it is safe if you are on it during conception, but to start it after conception has not been tested enough. =)

Still Temping...

Temp was high again today.
I did have some spotting.
Nothing like a period though, and a completely different color.
We will see.
I'm waiting to take the Met until my temp shoots downward or red blood arrives.
Thank you for your nice Congrats on my National Board Certification.
It was a long process and totally worth it. =)

P.S. (from B) All comments are moderated. If you post spam, it will be rejected. So you might as well just knock it off and save yourself the time and effort!

We Interrupt This Broadcast for a Very Important Message:

Miss J received this message today:

::doing the happy dance::

Congratulations!
You are a National Board Certified Teacher^®! Your performance met the standard for National Board Certification^® set by the board of directors of the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards^® (NBPTS^®).

To achieve National Board Certification, a candidate must earn a total weighted scaled score that equals or exceeds 275. Your total weighted scaled score, exercise scores and weighted exercise scores are shown in your score profile. You can access information that describes the criteria used to score your responses from the "scoring guide" link at the left.

The NBPTS Board of Directors and staff extend its best wishes for your continued success.

No blood-temp rise

So AF never came yesterday, and there was only one instance of weird spotting, that I wouldn't have even seen if I wasn't looking for it.

My temp went back up this morning.

There are a few theories:

1. I am pregnant. (of course this one is my favorite theory)

2. I missed my ovulation date and I really ovulated on CD29, making yesterdays downward temp a possible implantation dip...meaning I am only at 8DPO, not 15DPO

3. My temps are just wonky.

4. I never did ovulate.

5. I ovulated twice.

6. I am not pregnant and today's temp was a fluke (of course my least favorite)

I am attaching my chart for your viewing pleasure.

Quick Elaboration-BFN post

This cycle was a bit wonky with temps and no peak on the monitor. I was fairly confident I O'ed on CD23, but without the monitor agreeing, and with a bonus positive OPK, I was thrown for a loop. I continued to temp, having some pregnancy symptoms starting at 8DPO (a day after a clear temp shift-implantation dip?). The waves of nausea were very reminiscent of the Sprout pregnancy's first trimester. I took a test at 10DPO and there was a line. It was faint, but it was there, and came up rather quickly. Having experienced a chemical pregnancy two months ago, we were tentatively excited. However, B did not want me to share anything here (hence my cryptic posts).

11DPO the line was even fainter. At 12DPO we switched to Dollar store tests. Then I started doubting myself. Am I seeing a line, or is it just a shadow. At 13DPO (yesterday) I saw nothing. When B woke up, a few hours later than me, she saw a clear line. (Clearly an evap).
This morning (14DPO), my temp shifted downward and I've had some spotting.

This cycle didn't work, but I am pretty confident I still ovulated since my luteal phase was the same length as usual.

After work this afternoon I will stop at the drug store to pick up AF products and my new script for Met.for.min. (I haven't been on Met.for.min regularly since February...I tried it for a few days a month after the miscarriage, but I had such a problem with it, I stopped...so I'm trying it again, with a new prescription. If this script still makes me feel like a$$, then I will ask for the extended release version). I have decided that I am starting with one 500mg pill a day and will eventually work myself up to the 3 a day I was prescribed a while ago.

By request...

Here's the chart. Thoughts...?

Line. No line. Period. No Period.

Why does TTC make a fairly educated woman (aka me) so confused.
There was a line.
Then there wasn't.
Then there was.
Who knows.
I feel like my period is going to start.
I will test again in the morning if my temp stays high.
Today is 13DPO.
No congratulations please...let's wait this out.

Eh

I have a post in my head, but I find myself censoring myself.
That's all I can say right now.
More later.

5.5 more days

until Thanksgiving vacation.
Boy do I need a break.
I do love teaching, but I wish I was independently wealthy and could just volunteer in the classroom. Grades are due next week.
I just want to sleep in and catch up on housework!

Old Pictures

Blogging everyday is tiring. As much as I love updating the blog, being "forced" to, makes it a little less fun. So today I bring you some photos from my past. Picture posts are always fun. These are in no order at all.

My sister and I at the Toledo Zoo (about 11 years ago) The day after my sister was born. March 16, 1984. My dad put my dress on backwards. When we got to the hospital, my mom had to change me.

My sister and I played twins (Lilybelle and Lulubelle) in a community theatre production.

Crazy Aunt Shirley, Sweet Aunt Marie, me and my sister (with the cheesiest grin I've ever seen!)

I'm sure my sister loves this shot. She's still a messy eater, but I love her. =)

Grandma Geri, my sister,and me (in the Care Bears nightgown)

Pur.e Ro.mance

Bread is in the oven (two different kinds) and dips are made. I didn't really want to make/bake anything sweet, so store-bought cookies will have to do.

Tonight we are having our first ever Pu.re Rom.ance party. You know, one of those parties.

I've never been to one of those parties, let alone hosted one.

This should be interesting.

B calls me a prude. I wouldn't go that far.

By looking at my chart and doing some googling about a 4DPO temp dip, I still have no idea where I am at in my cycle. If I go with my best guess, I am 9DPO. Who really knows though?

Any advice would be appreciated...

Dance

Tonight is the LGBT dance at our church that we have been planning for the past 3 months.
I'm both excited and nervous.
It is our group's first dance in a very long time (and our first ever) so I am hoping it is successful. In the past, dances have hosted anywhere between 200-300 people. At $10/ticket, that's a great donation to our local LGBT drop-in center. I just want to make enough money to cover our costs. Anything above and beyond is bonus!

No-go

I'm thinking this cycle is a bust. My temps have been all over the map, and although I got TWO positive OPKs, I don't think I ovulated. Apparently my body tried, and yet it didn't happen, TWICE.

Or it did, and my temps are just wacky.

I guess I won't know until the fat lady sings.

Thank You, Veterans

Today I take time to honor and bless those who have committed their lives to courageous sacrifice and service to others. I give thanks for them and the significant difference they make in our world.

Let Go, Let God

From the Daily Word: "As I let go and trust God, I open the way for God's perfect expression within me and in all the circumstances of my life. I don't worry about the outcome, for I know that all is well. I know that God is in charge and that I am being divinely guided and blessed."

The CBEFM switched to Low this morning...I will stop testing (including OPKs) now, and perhaps only temp for a few more days. Then I will hop back onto Met.for.min.

Today is a Special Day

Nine years ago today, I met the love of my life.

Thirty years ago today, she was born.

I love you, JB. Always and forever. Happy birthday!

Surprise!

On Friday night we were supposed to have our Team Meeting for our Church Sunday School Teaching Team. It was scheduled for 7:30 at the restaurant where we normally meet. Around 6:30 I get a call from my sister telling me that my brother-in-law is in urgent care, and we need to go let their dog out. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. We rushed over to my sister's house, punched in the garage code, and met the dog at the door. As soon as I turned the corner into the kitchen...SURPRISE! So many of my friends were there to wish me a happy birthday. It was truly a surprise and I was so happy. I felt like a princess for the entire party! There was food and presents and games and laughter. Lots of laughter. I couldn't have asked for a better party. I even got a Snuggie! My lovely wife, my mom, my sister, and my friends planned this wonderful surprise, and I am so grateful.
This was the best birthday a girl could ask for. Tomorrow (November 9th) is my official birthday and I will joyfully enter my 3rd decade.
(Oh, and we did a safety net insem today as well...just in case!)

My body is playing tricks on me

A person cannot ovulate twice in the same cycle, right? Why would I get TWO positive OPKs?
Just to be safe, we are doing another insem tomorrow.
I also have to post about my kick-a$$ surprise 30th birthday party as well! So great. =)

Confused

Today is CD24. I did not get a temp shift this morning, nor was there a peak on the monitor, just day six of high. I haven't had 6 days of high since Sprout's pregnancy. During that cycle, we did an insem on the 3rd day of high, and then again on both peak days, with FF guessing I ovulated on the second peak day. For the chemical pregnancy in August, I had 5 days of high and ovulated on the 5th day. We insemed only on the 3rd day of high.
I thought our opk was positive on Wednesday. Yesterday it was not positive, so I was pretty excited about the timing.
Now I am confused. Should we do another insem? When? When it says PEAK?
Let me know your expert opinion. =)

Shooting Stars

As I was driving to work, I was thinking and praying, as I often do. I saw a license plate that said JM4...since my initials are JM, I said to God, "4 would be too many, 1 or 2 would be great, or 3 at the very most." (I play anagram games with license plates all the time...dorkish, I know.)About a minute later, I saw a shooting star, and then another.
I have seen maybe 4 shooting stars in my entire life..and then to see two this morning, right after each other. Either my eyes/brain are playing tricks on me, or it was just a little miracle.
I think our timing on this cycle is impeccable. I believe we will officially be in the TWW tomorrow....we will see though!

Noah

The story below is about a little guy who lives about 10 minutes from where I teach....

Noah Biorkman is a 5 year old boy who is dying of cancer. The doctors are only giving him until Thanksgiving to live. His family is having Christmas early for him. (This weekend) He does not want toys because he can not play with them. His wish is to receive as many Christmas cards as he can. He would like to break the world record. His family would like everyone that can to please send him a Christmas card by next week. Do not send money or gifts, he just wants cards. Just sign your name to the card. Please pass this along to everyone that you can think of that would help.

The family would like to thank everyone that helps with their son’s dream.

Noah Biorkman
1141 Fountain View Circle
South Lyon MI 48178

Thanks for your help

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/medical/biorkman.asp

You're Wrong

That's what I said to FF when I put in my temp this morning. FF seems to think I ovulated 3 days ago. How silly of him/her/it. I can see how the temps could be confusing...but all other signs point to impeding ovulation tomorrow or Thursday. I know my body...at least I think I do.

I anticipate another temp shift on Thursday morning...

Halloween Picture

J as Octo-mom and B as "The Inseminator"

Pretty apropos, given we did our first insem of this cycle tonight!

NaBloPoMo

I've never attempted this NaBloPoMo thing before, but I will this year.

I hope to share with you a little story about myself, my life, or my friends each day of this month. Tonight I will start with a story that my students love to hear each year.

The Night I Left My Sister at Church

When I was a kid, my sister and I used to attend a Wednesday night children's program at a local church. My parents never attended, but would drop us off. I loved AWANA so much that I would invite my friends from school. One night, my friend Alexandria and her brother Robert were going with us. My mom drove us all to church and Alex's mom was to pick us up. After services, Alex, Robert, and I all hopped into her mom's truck. (We were all around the same age, so we were together most of the night. My sister, on the other hand, was 5 years younger, so she was in a different room.) Anyway, when I was dropped off at home, I walked up to the front door to see my former drill-sergeant dad standing in the lighted doorway with his arms crossed. He looked down at me with his threatening eyes and said, "Did you forget something at church?" I looked in my hands and saw that I had both my AWANA book and my bible. "No, I have everything..." "What about your sister?" Well my eyes got big and my mouth dropped to my chest. I was terrified. My dad quickly informed me that my mom was already on her way to the church to pick her up, since the leaders had already called. That was a night I will never forget, and neither will my sister.

Prayers

A friend of mine from undergrad, who was due a week or two after we were, lost her baby. They just had their shower on Sunday, and were 32 weeks along. Please pray for K, her partner, and their family.
Baby Ethan John will forever be loved and missed.

Shorty got low, low, low

Anyway, still low around these parts.
Today is CD16. Last month I got my first High on CD17.
Seems close.
Still waiting patiently.

Still around

Just peeing on things.

I expect a high on the monitor in the next day or so. Then hopefully we will be able to insem on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th day of Highs...then comes the PEAK. Usually by the time I get the Peak, I have already ovulated the night before. We will see how the OPKs read.

B was sick with the flu for a good 5 days. It was not a fun time around this house. She even missed her choir concert at church. Luckily she felt a wee bit better (well enough to get dressed and actually leave the house) to attend the concert. Pretty amazing. Yesterday was her first day back to work and she made it through the whole day. Woo hoo!

Our state testing is finally done (except for make-ups). We have had a ton of children out due to illness in the past two weeks, but attendance seems to be getting back to normal. By the time the vaccines are available, all of my class will have had the bug.

I'm in a bit of an emotional rollercoaster when it comes to reading my blog list. For the women that are due right around Sprout's due date, it is so hard to read, but I anticipated that. For the women that are pregnant in the first trimester, or early second trimester, I cringe every time I see a new post. I am fearful for them. For the newly pregnant ones that are seeing their betas drop (2 on my f-list right now), I am so sad for them. And for those that already have their bundles, I love looking at the picture posts. Such cute children. I can't wait to join the club.

Looking to the future

I am feeling very confident about this cycle. We will not have timing issues or medical issues to deal with (God-willing), and this won't be a third Hail-Mary pass. Everything will work out perfectly.

These past few days have been a bit crazy in our world. It is our state's standardized testing window (which provides it's own stress-not to mention the 20% of kids we have out sick with the Swine Flu), I had 2 late nights of conferences and B had a workshop at work. Add on top of that our Sprout anniversary, Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and the arrival of AF and I was happy to be so busy.

I called my mom on Thursday. She said that at cards (my mom is in a card club that meets once a week) one of her old lady friends came in with a bag. When my mom asked what it was, she said, "Isn't your daughter due in December?" (The lady goes to Florida from October - May) My mom explained what happened and tried to get her to take it back. She said no and told my mom to keep it for when we do get pregnant again. The woman crocheted us a baby blanket! How sweet. It made my mom cry and almost made me cry too. I can't wait to see it.

Today is full of housework, since the house has been neglected while we have been working. When B gets home from work we are going to go see the Hangover at the cheap show with some friends. Should be a pretty mellow evening, just how I like it, especially after a crazy week.

BFN and a Sprout-a-versary

Welp, we are not celebrating a BFP.

We are however celebrating CD1, which means we are about 2 weeks away from our next TWW.

Our time will come, I just know it.

On a side note, today marks 4 months from when little Sprout became an angel.

I lit a couple of candles in the living room to mark the occasion, since J and I will both be working long days tomorrow and won't be able to participate in the Day of Remembrance for Infant and Pregnancy Loss.

The candles are also lit for you - you know who you are. We are all in this together.

Still Negative

No double line this morning.
I'm 14DPO. I've never gone this far without blood or a positive test.
I am thinking it could be three things:
1. I am pregnant, it's just not showing up on the test yet.
2. I am not pregnant, but AF has not arrived yet.
3. I got my ovulation date wrong, so I am not really 14DPO. (If this is the case, because we did only one insem this cycle, the chance of me being pregnant is veryveryslim.)

Last month I had the positive test, but no pregnancy, maybe this month I won't have the positive, but end up with a baby...wouldn't that be marvelous?

Oh and I took my temp this morning just to see if it would be in the 97's (a sure sign AF is on her way) and it was 98.0. Limbo land. Great.

I'm trying to stay positive...

Couldn't wait

So I tested.
No second line.
Perhaps we will test again tomorrow.

Still haven't tested..

11DPO.
This is the longest we have ever gone without testing.
We are holding out until Tuesday (14DPO)
I have almost every single pregnancy symptom imaginable.
My brain says, "it's impossible," but my heart says, "maybe." B says, "of course."

7DPO

It's been hard not to temp in the morning. I have stuck the thermometer in my mouth a couple random times...then I remembered why I stopped...because it drives me crazy.
I began having back problems on Sunday again, and was basically incapacitated for 12 hours. I was better yesterday, just extremely tired and very nauseous in the morning.
Today I start physical therapy.
I've also had lots of watery CM...so I really have no idea what is going on.
I have also been exxxxxxxxxxxxxtremely fe-motional. I can cry at the drop of a hat.
I feel in my gut that this cycle is a bust, but I am open and receptive to being utterly surprised.
If blood doesn't arrive, we will test a week from today.

Done

I'm done testing and temping for this cycle.
Positive OPK was received today, but because of my wonky back, I did not get a temp this morning (I woke up at 2am in agonizing pain).
I know tomorrow will be a PEAK on the monitor, so I am skipping the testing and saving the stick.
The thermometer will be disregarded. I am guessing I either will ovulate tonight or tomorrow morning (or I already did sometime today). This 2ww will go by without me obsessing over every symptom.
I'm playing this one like a straight girl that didn't know she could be pregnant. =)

One hit wonder

This is going to be another Hail Mary pass. We did our first (and only) insem yesterday afternoon. Our wonderful donor is willing to do another donation tonight, but alas, my body is not agreeing. I had to leave work shortly after arriving today because I was in so much pain (my back). I was able to call the dr. on my way home and go directly to his office. He gave me a steroid shot and a referral for physical therapy for 6 weeks. Apparently they will not do an MRI or other testing until the patient undergoes pt for 6 weeks. Great. Meanwhile, I have been alternating between Ty.len.ol and Mo.trin (yes, I know that Mo.trin is not safe) and ice and hot baths. Tomorrow is my last day on my antibiotics (for my UTI) so hopefully my appetite will come back. I need to eat for my medicine, but I am nauseous. Sure does suck having all of these pregnancy symptoms, but no baby. Soon enough. God has perfect timing.

First High-a bulleted post

• Today was my first high on the monitor.
• UTI has not gone away.
• PCP put me on new antibiotic (Cip.ro).
• OPKs are getting darker.
• Scheduled first insem for this cycle on Sunday.
• I'm ready to be pregnant (again).
• I'm ready to be pregnant and stay pregnant.
• Thanks.

Home sick today.

On Sunday I woke up not feeling so good.

After being awake for a few minutes, I realized that I had a UTI. I've only ever had one other UTI in my life...

I knew I had a few options: 1. Try to wait it out, drink lots of water and cranberry juice, and see if it went away on its own. 2. Deal with it for Sunday and call the doctor in the morning. 3. Go to urgent care.

I decided on the 3rd one. The doc confirmed my home diagnosis...kind of. She said there was blood in the urine which usually indicates an infection, but it could also be an indication of kidney stones. No thanks. My back pain, she thinks, is unrelated, which is good. She did give me a shot of something to ease my back pain. It was nice. =) I don't know what it was, but it was good. She also prescribed me bac.trim for the UTI. Today is my last day on the antibiotics, and thank God. My tummy doesn't like this medicine. =/

As far at TTC. My chart is below. It has been whacked out. I have not detected ovulation at all, but my temps have been so much higher than usual. (I'm thinking this is due to the infection). Take a look and tell me what you think:

Do chemical pregnancies screw with the next cycle? As you can see, I am still having lows on the monitor and even the faint lines on the OPKs have disappeared. Hmm.

I am glad to be home from work today. As much as I hate being off from work and having a sub in my classroom, I think this was a wake-up call for me and my body. I'm doing too much. I am super involved at church, school has started, we are being extra social with book clubs and other things..and TTC. It's too much. I don't know what to cut though, because I genuinely love all I do. Maybe I just need more balance. I'll be waiting for some guidance from God in this department.

Oh, and look what happens when I merge my last two cycles....

The Waiting Game

This time we are waiting for ovulation.
Currently I am on CD11. Still low on the CBEFM, but I am expecting a High tomorrow. If yesterday's OPK was any indication of impending ovulation (based on the darkness of the line), then the Big O is right around the corner.
Let's keep those positive baby vibes going! Congratulations to Sarah at Farmer Femme! I called B at work when I saw the news. (She may have shed a tear or two of joy for you!)

Higher than usual

For the last two days my temps have been higher than usual (I don't temp when AF is visiting). I bled for 3 days and then had one day of spotting. I'm hoping my body gets back into the swing of things very soon.
NKD goes out of town at the end of September....

CD4

This period has been lighter than usual.
I will start temping again on Monday.
CBEFM will start on CD9
OPKs will begin then too.
I'm hoping for another normal cycle and no delayed ovulation.

Nosedive

Nosedive temp today.
Blood should arrive today or tomorrow.
Come on June baby!

No Line

I'm thinking Chemical Pregnancy.
There was no line at all on either test this morning.
So I am thinking I was pregnant, but just not anymore.
I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant had I not tested so freakin' early (another good reason to wait..please remind me of this during our next TWW!)
My temp is still high.

I am so grateful to know I can get pregnant...and apparently fairly easily...with the right swimmers.

I was only going to call the doctor if it was positive, but now I am second guessing myself and thinking I should probably still call her and let her know. She most likely doesn't even have my full records she requested last week.

I apologize for getting everyone's hopes up. Our hopes were up too.

Happy First Day of School to me...

Already a little nervous

I am 13DPO. I have had positive tests on 11DPO (B's eyes saw that one) and 12DPO (finally confirmation from my eyes), and this morning I took a test again and the line is not getting any darker. In fact, I can barely see anything.
I know I'm being paranoid. Help ease my uneasiness....

B here with an update!

The cheapy-cheapo dollar.store.brand test says we are Definitely (notice the capital D) preggers. The fancy-schmancy digital clearly stated "not pregnant" (jerks) and the Fi.rst Re.sponse didn't even show a faint line. I think we're both expecting this to be like last time, when the line was getting darker and darker every few hours, but I'm wondering now if that's because we implanted earlier than this time. I think a trip to the dol.lar st.ore to pick up more cheapo tests will put our mind at ease. We simply haven't let enough time pass. But we are so impatient! lol Also, the interweb cheapo tests also say we are pregnant (lower case p) vewwy faintly. So...we'll see. For now we're hanging our hopes on the dol.lar sto.re. :)

YES WE DID!

This BFP announcement will not be as elusive as the last one. But yes, yes we are.

OMG!

Welcome to the uterus, little Buttercup. We love you already.

P.S. J just said to me, "how appropriate, on LABOR day weekend." ::giggle::

11DPO

Temp is still high, as usual. In fact, my FF chart looks almost exactly like the cycle BEFORE I got pregnant last time. If you remember, B wouldn't let me temp after ovulation was determined on the cycle that we did get pregnant, therefore, I have nothing to compare this one to.
However, I have had ZERO boob tenderness. Usually at this point, I have some, even when it's my period arriving....
The only symptoms I have had:

• extreme emotions-I can almost physically feel my hormones raging
• tiredness-but I have started back at school
• backache-the day I returned from TX (horrible), and then again last night and this morning (not as bad)
• a few waves of nauseausness
• feeling hot, hot, hot. Even running a slight temp this morning...
• a wee heightened sense of smell

I took a test this morning. B swears she saw a faint line. I disagree. I took a fancy one 4 hours later and it said "Not Pregnant"

Femotional

I'm rather fe-motional today. I felt like crying or did cry at least 5 times. I'm also very sleepy and a bit irritable.
Did I mention that today is 8DPO?
Anyway, we met with our new ob/gyn yesterday, and we both LURV her. Amazing. She had all the right answers and seems very proactive. She may have even drawn a beta yesterday...even though we both knew it was probably too early, she said, "Well...what would it hurt, really?" Love her!
I left there with a referral for a perinatologist. Woot.
We will know either way in about 5 days, or if the doctor calls with positive results.

Home Sweet Home

Home from Texas.
It's 56 degrees here (at 9am). This time in Texas it was already approaching 90. I'm definitely a Midwest girl!
I have realized that being gone really helps a TWW go by fast. Here we are already at 6DPO. I am not stressing over this TWW at all. Perhaps because it was such a Hail Mary pass...
Anyway, no symptoms to speak of. Yesterday I had a killer back spasm (probably from carrying the luggage and the hours of sitting on a plane and in an airport). Luckily all is well today after much rest, a warm bath, and some tyle.nol.
Tomorow I have an appointment with our new Ob/gyn. B is able to go with me, so I need to make sure we have a list of questions written down so we don't forget anything.
Teacher work day on Wednesday and Thursday and then it's back to school with kids on the Tuesday after Labor Day.
PS. This baby would be due on May 18th. How perfect!

Chart

According to my temperature, our timing was pretty good. However, my OPKs and CBEFM are forcing FF to give me a dotted crosshairs. Only time will tell. Good thing I believe in miracles. =)

Austin, TX

Well we got here last night, right before the thunder and lightening. Apparently it hasn't rained in weeks, and when we arrive, the sky opened up. Coincidence? hehehehe.
Anyway, we decided to do the trip in two days of driving, instead of 3. It didn't make sense to stop driving at 4 everyday, so we just plowed through. Now I have an extra day in Austin. Woot!
I had a temp shift yesterday morning (CD16)...now remember that we did the insem on CD14. If I was only temping, I would be excited about our timing on this Hail Mary pass...however, I am also using OPKs and the CBEFM. Yesterday (CD16) I got a positive OPK and today (CD17) I got a peak on the monitor. FF is suggesting I will ovulate tomorrow (CD18), which would be such a long time for those swimmers to stay alive. I have had fertile cm....but this really is a shot in the dark. God has perfect timing and there is Divine Order in my life.
Speaking of God (jeez...what a segue..ha!), I am making A drive me to Unity Center today so I can walk and see the labyrinth. Woot! Other than that, I don't know what is on the schedule. I do believe we are going to the LBJ museum tomorrow and possibly shopping on Saturday. I leave bright and early on Sunday.

Crazy

What a crazy morning.
I left my school around 8:15 to get to NKD's house by 9am. (My school and his house are 25 minutes apart.)
I was cruising along, ahead of schedule, when I heard on the radio that the freeway was closed up ahead do to an accident. Everyone was being forced off at the exit I was supposed to get off at. By the time I got to the exit, it was already 9:35. I only had 2 miles to travel to get to the downtown area, but at 2.5 miles per hour, it was taking way too long. Did I mention that NKD had to leave by 10:15 to pick up someone from the airport?
Very long story short, I got the swimmers and pulled into a hospital parking lot to send them on their way. It took 2 hours and 10 minutes to get there. Wow. What a story we will have to tell this kid.
The funny thing is, this is just a hail mary pass...as I am only on High on the CBEFM. Since I leave tomorrow morning for my epic road trip (first stop-Mt. Vernon, IL, second stop-Hope, AR, final destination-Austin, TX), I wanted to shoot some sperm up there, just in case I ovulate today, tomorrow, or Wednesday. If I O on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, I'm kinda screwed. I'm so glad I know that God has perfect timing. All is well.

CD13

Today was day 2 of the "high" reading on the CBEFM.
I ordered a new box of sticks on August 16th. Yesterday, I used my last stick. So, I had to go buy some at a local pharmacy. Let me tell you how hard they were to find! The first one I went to didn't have any, the second one had a box, so I bought it. I noticed the box was not sealed (all the sticks inside were), but I counted the sticks and they were all there. When I got home, I looked at the bottom of the box and realized the sticks were expired. So I went all the way back to the pharmacy to return them. They had no other boxes. Then I went to 3 other pharmacies. All were out. Finally, at my final stop, I found a box for $51.99. Holy cow! I paid $30ish online! I am hoping to use my receipt and return the unopened box I receive in the mail...whenever it finally arrives. I was very thankful to finally find them.
My body is not cooperating with ovulation around my epic road trip. If I get a "peak" reading tomorrow, I will do a quick insem in the morning. I leave on Tuesday morning for Texas. Our first stop is Mt. Vernon, Illinois and our second stop is Hope, Arkansas. Our final destination is Austin, Texas. We will arrive there on Thursday evening. I fly home on Sunday. Keep those good ovulation vibes coming!

Texas

Today is CD10. Temp was back to follicular stage normalness, CBEFM was low and OPK was stark white. I either want the big O to come soonish or after August 30th. The reason?
I am heading across the country on an epic road trip to Texas with A, a friend of mine. She is moving back in with her partner after living separately due to schooling and jobs for the past 2 years.
Side note-both of these ladies went to undergrad with me, and they have been together about 4 months longer than B and I. (since 2000)
Anyway, we leave on Tuesday, August 25th and I fly home on Sunday, August 30th. Please let ovulation come somewhere before or after my trip!

Je ne comprende pas

I don't even know if that is correct, but in English, I don't understand.
So today is CD9 and the start of the CBEFM again. I have been temping for the last few days as well. This morning, my temp was 98.1 (way high for follicular phase and typical for luteal phase). Last cycle, my temp spiked at CD9 to 98.1 and stayed high for 4 days. Then it dipped and I started bleeding again (on CD14).
Today was also low on the monitor (as expected).
Am I in for a repeat of last cycle?
So far everything is the same.

Happy Birthday B!

Today, the love of my life turns 29, for the first time.
I am such a lucky woman to have her in my life.
I am truly blessed.
My life is full with her in it.
Thank you God for sharing B with me.
Happy Birthday Honey, I love you more than words.
YAMGFAYAB
xoxoxo

Inspirational Email

Everyday I get an email from my church with an affirmation, prayer, and inspirational quote.

Today's email was fitting after starting AF yesterday:

Dear God,
We stand at the beginning of a new month filled with hope and a sense of purpose.
We know that all things are working for our good.
We believe that You have a plan for our lives and we seek only the unfolding of that plan.
Thank You in advance for the opportunities that are ours.
Thank You for divine order, which is at work on our behalf.
May we live each moment of each day in Love.
Amen

Blood

CD1..again.

Bust

I am fairly confident that this cycle is a bust. Stupid post-miscarriage hormones. For a few days, the OPKs were dark...one was almost positive. Then yesterday, nuttin'. Stark white. Oh..and I started SPOTTING. On CD14. WTH?

My CBEFM still says high, so clearly I am confusing the machine as well. This would explain my weird temps this time around. Normally, my cover line is around 97.7. You can see by the chart below that I spent 4 days well above that cover line...normal temps for my luteal phase, not the follicular one. Then the giant temp drop-typical AF precursor. Eh.

I guess the good thing about a short cycle is you get to hop right back on the horse again in a few weeks.

High

I got my first "High" on the monitor this morning!
I feel like the pace car has pulled off the track and the green flag has been waved.

Wait..did I just use a "sports" analogy? Weird!

Supplies

I scored a box of 20 OPKs (like the cheapy ones you get online) at B1g L0ts for 8.00. That is 40 cents per strip and I didn't have to pay shipping! Awesome. If anyone needs any and does not have a B1g L0ts in their area, let me know and I can pick some up and send them to you.

4

After a week and 2 days, by beta went down the 2 points it needed to, to a 4. Talk about a slow moving beta. Anyway, I am where I need to be, so Thank You God!
Today is CD10 and I have been using the CBEFM for the past 2 days. Tomorrow I start on the OPKs. I haven't been taking my met.form.in, because I think I got a bad batch. It smells horribly and was making me sicker than usual. I am going to refill it at a different pharmacy today or tomorrow.
I called the new Ob's office today, but I had to leave a message. Hopefully someone will call me back soon. I want to write out some letters to a couple of the ladies at the old office, because they were super sweet and helpful.
I am fairly confident I will ovulate on my own this cycle in a relatively timely manner and I am also fairly certain that we will get pregnant in the near future. Wouldn't a May/June baby be perfect for a teacher's schedule?!? =)

*Edit* Dr's office called me back. My appointment is September 1st. We might totally be pregnant by then. =)

6

My beta from last Saturday was 6.
No one from the office called me all week. I finally called yesterday (Friday) afternoon from my hotel room during a short break.
The nurse had originally said that even if it was 6, I probably wouldn't have to go again. Well the doctor wants me to. I normally go on Saturdays, but because I couldn't get the fax until today, I will just go on Monday.
B thinks she is just sending me to appease me since I called. I am not sure. I will go though. I just want it to be zero so I can give the information to my new ob/gyn. I have yet to call said new doctor, but I will once I get my final beta.
I spent the last four days out of town (three at an autism conference). It was nice to get away, be with friends, and learn new information, but I missed home terribly.
I am on CD5 and I believe today will be the last day. This first period after the miscarriage wasn't so bad. I realize that I bled for so long immediately after the miscarriage, and only stopped bleeding for 16 days before this new cycle started, so my uterus didn't have much time to beef itself up.
Since I don't know what to expect for this cycle, I can't really predict when I will ovulate. Going by past precedence, it would be right around B's 29th birthday (August 16th). Last year, at her birthday, we had our first and only IUI before switching to our new known donor (that got us pregnant on the second try). Time flies.
I dusted off the ol' CBEFM. Literally. I will start temping again tomorrow and using OPKs around CD11. Here we go again...

New Beginnings

Today is CD1.

I had a feeling she was comin' round the mountain, per se...and my suspicions were confirmed this morning. Once a chartin', tempin', body watchin' TTC-er, always one! After I left the bathroom, I found B in the kitchen making her coffee. I said, "Are you ready to be pregnant in 3 weeks and start this ride all over?" We both smiled and hugged. Here we go....

Today is also the day I leave for 4 days and 3 nights for a conference about Autism.
B and I have never slept away from each other for more than 2 nights in the 9 years we have been together. I am so lucky to be going with my BFF from school. =) And although AF will hinder pool/hot tub plans (I ain't sticking anything up there for a very long time!), at least I will not have to wake up at 4:30 everyday to take my temp. Small blessings.

Play it again, Sam...

Beta from Saturday was 10. I go back ONE MORE time this Saturday. I asked the nurse (who I am on a first name basis with) what the next step is with the doctor. She said the doctor does not need to see me for a recheck unless I am having problems or complications. This will make the transition to a new OB pretty easy then. I will call the new doctor after I get my Beta results from Saturday.

Thank you for all of your supportive comments from my last post. I know it will get easier and I see us with a baby (or babies) in our arms in the near future.

Hard day...

Today was the first day of summer school, but emotionally it was a hard one. Clearly not as bad as in the beginning, but still hard.
I am also having a hard time with the pregnancy blogs and fb status updates. I am so happy for all y'all preggo women out there, but it sure does sting every time I read a post about an ultrasound visit or setting up a nursery, or feeling the baby move, or..basically anything. It used to sting after each BFN, but this is worse. It is especially hard to read about those women who are due around the same time as I was..and yet I feel so connected to them. We went through our 1st trimesters together...
I could easily solve my problem by adjusting my reader, or filters, but I am genuinely interested in you and your families. What's a girl to do?
Perhaps I need more TTC blogs on my roll. Women that aren't in the pregnant stage yet. My blog roll used to be full of non-pregnant women, but with the grace of God, so many are already mothers or well on their way there. Any suggestions for new blogs for me to read?
Also, is it stupid for me to think that we are going to get pregnant right away? I have this feeling that it's going to happen quickly...I am pretty sure my period will show up in 5-7 days and we will be inseming 3ish weeks after...I know we went many months without getting pregnant, but on our second try with our 2nd donor, bam! =)

Bondage-not that kind!

We are free from bondage of our past.

B and I are taking a couple of classes at our church. This message resonated with me. I have been fearful of becoming pregnant again. Now don't get me wrong, I cannot wait, but I am so scared of losing another baby. This, of course, is based on my prior experience, not what I know is True. I need to remind myself of the Truth that I am a mother and the most perfect baby (ies) will come to our family in time. I do not need to compare any future pregnancies and/or children with our Sprout experience. I will stay positive. I will not let my past experiences hold me back.

• Beta from Saturday was 17. I go again this Saturday. The ladies at the hospital know me now.
• I have stopped bleeding.
• I got a condolence email today from a friend I haven't seen.
• I stopped taking the met.form.in because it was making me sick. I will try again on Monday, one pill a day until I feel better.
• Summer school starts on Monday.

We are free from bondage of our past.

Nothing smaller than your elbow

Apparently, there is a saying that you are not supposed to stick anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. I have always disregarded this statement and used Q-tips. Maybe never again. On Saturday I was cleaning my ears out after my shower and when I pulled the stick out of my ear, there was no cotton attached. B tried to look in there, but couldn't find anything. Long story short, after being scared by online stories and friends, we went to urgent care at 9pm. The doctor couldn't find anything either...how embarrassing.

Anyway, during the triage portion of the visit, they ask you a bunch of health questions.
Do you smoke? No.
Drink? No.
Drugs? No.
Have you ever been pregnant? Yes. (ouch.)
Then immediately following....How many children? None. (double ouch.)
When was your last period? February 23. (ouch, ouch, ouch.)

Yesterday I stopped spotting. I had EWCM. Today I have more of the same, without any spotting at all. This happened before, and I thought it was done. This time I really think I am done. Today marks 4 weeks, so the timing would fit. I am ready to move on.

27

Beta from Monday was 27. Maybe this Saturday will be my last draw....

I have been bleeding (with a few day-long reprieves) since June 15th. I have been pretty consistent about temping over the past two weeks, although I am not sure I will even ovulate this cycle (not that we are doing anything this cycle anyway, I just wanted a baseline.)


My met.form.in and iron supplements are making me sick daily. I just want to feel good again.

The good news in our household is B is getting a new car tomorrow. We have to get everything straightened away with the credit union and insurance company, but this time tomorrow she will be a owner of a 2007 Ponti.ac Vibe. I have named the nice black new vehicle, Raiter. =)


For those keeping track at home, here is my chart:

Beta Beta Bo-Beta,,,

Today is Beta day...again.
Our Saturdays have been pretty routine these past 3 weeks. Go to Tim Hortons, drive down the riverfront to the hospital, get blood drawn. Wait until Wednesday for the results, and then rinse and repeat.
I am hopeful that the number will be less than 25 and hopefully less than 5. I am still spotting off an on, but no more random bleeding.
I read today on LJ that a friend of a friend lost her baby. I didn't know "Jess," and her journal is private, but I can gather from looking at her profile that she was due in September. Our mutual friend posted that "her baby Hannah died inside of her and she had to deliver." My heart aches for her. Please keep this woman and her family in your prayers.

*EDIT* Even though I called to confirm holiday hours on Thursday, the lab was closed today. I will have to wait for my beta draw until Monday.

More Beta Results...

So lasts Saturday's draw determined that my level was 88. Double digits! Woot! Although not less than 5, it's going down at a rate I can't complain about. I go again either tomorrow or Saturday. I have to call the hospital and see when the lab is open due to the holiday.

B is working today, and then off the next 3 days for the holiday weekend. Love it. Then she goes back to work for Monday and is off for the next 9 days. (We were originally going to go to Washington State to see her nephew get married, but plans change...)

Yesterday was my first official day out and kinda back to work. I tutored one child in my classroom (which is already cleaned and all furniture moved back-score one for the custodians!). It was nice to be in the building with no one else (except those awesome custodians-that even got me 2 extra bookcases for all of my books!). As I was going through some things, I was even able to get some books on the shelves and some furniture moved...already getting ready for next year. I went out to lunch with a couple of friends from school and hung out at one of their houses for the afternoon (She's a fellow teacher and I had her daughter in my class last year). Then a few more stops and off to my po.ke.no card club. I didn't win. =(

I was gone the whole day, but so happy to get home around 9pm. My head was pounding, so I took some Tyl.eno1 PM and went to bed.

Yesterday we were also tagged by N over at Two Hot Mamas for a meme.

For the Kreativ Blogger award the rules of acceptance are simple: list seven things you love and then pass the award to seven blogs you love.

So..here it goes...
Things I Love
1. B
2. Our animals
3. Playing around on the computer
4. Children's books
5. School supplies
6. Getting mail
7. A clean house

7 blogs I love...
1. 2 Moms-It Can be done!
2. Adding Baby
3. Creating a Miracle (Although when I refreshed her blog to get the link, I see that she has already been tagged!)
4. Amy and Melissa's Baby Blog
5. Our Life
6. Equation of Hope
7. And like N over at Two Hot Mama's, I tag YOU. My blog list is far too long to list everyone..but I'd love to hear about what you love and the blogs you read!