For those of you playing along at home

• Temp was 98.4 this morning.
• Test was still negative.
• I am now 15DPO.
• Normal luteal phase is 12-13 days.
• With Sprout's pregnancy I got my first positive at 11DPO.
• I know every pregnancy/cycle is different.
• I am at ease with however this cycle turns out.
• I had fun on FF yesterday looking up charts with "late positive pregnancy test (>15DPO)" and "negative HPT before positive HPT"
• I am still extremely tired everyday. If I am not pregnant than I seriously think something else is wrong with me. I've never been this tired so consistently in my life.
• I have decided I will test every other day if my temp remains high.

In other non-ttc news, I received my new teaching certificate in the mail today with my National Board Certification listed. My new certificate is now good until 2020! Woot!

Still Temping...

Temp was high again today.
I did have some spotting.
Nothing like a period though, and a completely different color.
We will see.
I'm waiting to take the Met until my temp shoots downward or red blood arrives.
Thank you for your nice Congrats on my National Board Certification.
It was a long process and totally worth it. =)

P.S. (from B) All comments are moderated. If you post spam, it will be rejected. So you might as well just knock it off and save yourself the time and effort!

We Interrupt This Broadcast for a Very Important Message:

Miss J received this message today:

::doing the happy dance::

Congratulations!
You are a National Board Certified Teacher^®! Your performance met the standard for National Board Certification^® set by the board of directors of the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards^® (NBPTS^®).

To achieve National Board Certification, a candidate must earn a total weighted scaled score that equals or exceeds 275. Your total weighted scaled score, exercise scores and weighted exercise scores are shown in your score profile. You can access information that describes the criteria used to score your responses from the "scoring guide" link at the left.

The NBPTS Board of Directors and staff extend its best wishes for your continued success.

Saturday-in bullet form

• (Re)Take my NBPTS reading comprehension test today
• Get to a grocery store to buy fruit and milk (I have been eating a lot of cereal and fruit lately. I cannot get enough fruit)
• Home to do some dishes and/or nap
• Out to work friend's mom's house for bachelorette pre-party
• Out to dinner with bachelorette and her group of friends
• Skipping the bar and heading home to be with my wonderful wife

Edited later

• Finding out nothing fits anymore. Ugh. My size 16 capris cant even come close to buttoning. 16's were the big ones. Forget about the 12's or 14's I had lying around.
• I am grateful for this pregnancy. Do not get me wrong. I just wish I could stretch out my already limited wardrobe a little longer.
• Maybe when all the laundry gets done there will be more options.

Results

I scored a 273. I needed a 275. Because the scores are weighted, I did not get my certification by a fraction of a point.
Luckily, I can redo a section. (For $350)
60% of people do not pass it their first time. I just wanted to be one of the 40% that do...

NBPTS

National Board results get released tomorrow "mid-morning" ...

Catching up with me

In all the excitement of the NBC test, HSG, counseling, and camp, (oh, and the non-temping part), I have forgotten what CD I was on. I checked this morning, and it's CD12 today. Bring on those OPKs! I have never ovulated before CD21, but I start back on the Met.formin today (and have been taking it for almost a month) so we will see.
Next week is my sister's wedding. She is getting married in 7 days, I cannot believe it!
Next Thursday, besides being the rehearsal and pre-wedding crazy day, B and I will head over to the REs office to hear the official HSG results. Very busy week approaching!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!

I did it.

I took my National Board Certification test today. Now there is nothing I can do to control my results (that I have to wait for until November or December-6 months!). It is out of my hands now. I felt such a sense of relief when I left the testing center.
When we returned home (I carpooled today with B to work), Gracie had a crate full of diarrhea. Poor girl. That was sure fun to clean up...ew. B said, "can you imagine what its going to be like to clean this up when we have babies?" and I replied, "at least babies poop in diapers." She reminded me..."not always." =)
We don't want to leave her home alone, so I will venture off to "girls' night" at my sister's house and B will stay home.
Have I mentioned how much I love her, because I do. A lot.

Check and Check

HSG scheduled for a week from today. This will be my first HSG ever, so I am a bit nervous. I know everything will be alright. B is taking a day off of work to go with me, so I am very happy about that. I was even more nervous when I thought I was going to have to go by myself.

Does pro.vera or met.formin make your period much lighter than usual? I had no horrendous CD1, or a bloody mess when I awoke from sleeping. If I have to have a period, I will gladly take this one.

B also scheduled our counseling appointment for next Monday as well. Just one more hoop to jump through to use donor sperm. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do...

Another teacher at a mini-workshop I attending this evening asked me how many days of school are left in the year. I honestly do not know. I am taking each day, one at a time. Crazy would be an accurate word to describe my schedule.

My National Board test is on Saturday. I reviewed some best practices and some test taking hints, but other than that, I haven't done much. I will do alright, hopefully. On Sunday, I am going to try to be a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. Pat and Vanna are not in town, but the Wheelmobile is! I am excited!

Pretty soon its back to temping...I've enjoyed this little break!

It's been a while.

As of yesterday, the hospital thinks that Mr. Brayden will be able to come home today. Awesome. He is such a handsome little fellow. I am so excited for his family.

In our baby-makin news...I have been off the pro.vera for 3 days now, so hopefully the blood will arrive shortly so I can schedule the HSG. My face is breaking out like crazy, so I hope it is a good sign. We have also narrowed down our donor selection to our top 4 and B will schedule our counseling appointment today. I'm still on the Met.formin...and haven't lost any weight (I was hoping for that side effect), but it will most likely be much easier next week when Teacher Appreciation Week is over. Apparently people like to appreciate teachers with delicious, yummy goodness.

My sister's wedding is so quickly approaching, 3 weeks from today. EEk. Her "personal shower" is tomorrow at my mom's friend's house. I love my sister, but I just want this wedding to be over. I have to keep reminding myself that this will be her only wedding, so I should be revelling in each moment, but it is very hard when we are so very busy.

I take my National Board test a week from tomorrow. I haven't studied. I think I am past the panic mode, so I will do what I can this week and accept the results. Since the questions are constructed response, it is hard to "study" per se, but I should be practicing, and I am not. Total slacker.

In two weeks we are taking all of our 5th graders to camp. I don't camp. The outdoors and I do not get along so well. This will be an experience. The 5th graders go every year and they look forward to it all year. At least there will be cabins, and running water...and it's only for 2 days and one night. I can handle it...hopefully.

Fred Phelps is coming to protest at my University today at noon. I wish I could join the counter-demonstrations. Hopefully the peaceful circle will drown out his hate-filled message.

So that's it for now.

RE Visit fo' real

Yesterday was a busy day. I had a Team Decision Meeting to determine of one of my students should remain in her home or be placed in foster care. I had never been to one of those meetings. All of the agencies involved, the family, and the school all sit in one room and brainstorm. This is important to note, because I scheduled this TDM during my prep and lunch (which run back to back). In the meantime, I am part of a team of 3 people that have been working frantically to get a grant application done by today. I needed to get a letter of support signed by my principal. So I had to find the time to quickly explain the proposal, get the letter on letter head, and signed by my principal. This was hard to do, since we were both in the TDM. Somehow I managed, got my children settled with the substitute and ended up leaving school about 20 minutes later than I had expected.

After construction and traffic and trying to find the office, I arrived about 30 minutes before my appointment. When I walked through the stained glass double doors, it was like walking into a movie set. Everything was done in dark wood with a slight Asian flair. The couches and plush chairs in the waiting room were modern and comfortable. There was even a giant pink glass egg on a pedestal by the front door. I noticed a few fertility god statues as well. As I sat there, I wanted to take a picture with my phone, but I didn't want to seem like a total dork, or worse, a crazy person. The bathroom was even beautiful. Everything gave off a calm feeling.

I ended up having to wait almost an hour to be called back to an exam room. Once back there, the nurse took my TTC and brief medical history. Then left me waiting for the Dr. (for what seemed like forever. In reality, it was probably 20 minutes). Dr. K came in to introduce herself and her Young Dr. Friend. Dr. K was nothing what I expected, although I am not really sure what I expected. Anyway, she was youngish, long blond hair, thin, and no lab coat. Young Dr. Friend was real young (younger than me?) and dressed very stylish. After they introduced themselves, talked for 30 seconds, they both left. Dr. K told me that YDF would be in to take my medical history shortly. I waited. Again.

YDF came in about 10 minutes later and took down my TTC history. She, too, was impressed with my knowledge. She said, "You seem very organised and even have the terminology and pronunciation correct." She made me smile. I like you YDF. As she left, she told me that the Dr. may want to do an exam today, but she may not, so hold off on changing into the robe until Dr. K comes back. Fast forward through more waiting. Dr. K. comes back, lets me use the restroom and asks me to change into the robe. THE TERRY CLOTH ROBE. No paper or gaping gowns at this joint. I love it. And it smelled like sweet heaven. More waiting. Exam was quick, I changed and then was escorted into Dr. K's office. (Again beautiful and almost right out of a movie set.)

Here's the deal: Since I have been on the met.formin for only 7 days, she wants to see how it affects my body. She said I should know in the next 6-8 weeks. Because we will be switching to a cryobank, I have to have blood work done, so she scheduled that. Also, because we are using donor sperm, we have to have one meeting with a counselor. She has one on staff. She told me three criteria to look for in a donor: IUI, Neg for Herpes strand (I can't remember the letters right now), and RH negative. All three I already knew, and even told her about the RH factor before she asked. She said, "Wow, you're good." Again, I love me some compliments. She then gave me a referral for an HSG and gave me a scrip for Pro.vera to start after she calls me today to tell me I am not pregnant (she ran a beta test while I was there, because there needs to be a negative test on file before they can do the HSG). There was a minilab right on sight with a freezer full of sperm. She has her own blood machine thingy too. The nurse told me that for the women that are on stims, they need their blood work done in a timely matter and the lab could not guarantee the time, so the Dr. bought her own machine and trained her staff. Awesome. As she was drawing my blood, I commented again about the beautiful office. She told me it was designed by women, for women. She said that since so many of the women already come into the office anxious, nervous, scared, etc., they wanted to make it as calm and inviting as possible. Dr. K is planning on putting a fancy coffee machine in the waiting room soon.

So that was my visit. All in all, I was there from 1:30 until 4:45. I even had to have B cancel my dentist appointment I had scheduled for 4:30. I thought I was going to be able to make it, but oh well.

Needless to say, I am excited. I can't wait for B to go with me next time. We will schedule the counseling appointment soon and start looking at some sperm donor profiles ASAP. I will probably start the Pro.vera today, which would put my HSG around May 17th. (Although, not that day exactly, because that is the day I take my National Board test). And fortunately, she does the HSGs at the hospital that is 3 miles from our house. Nice.

6DPO-An Emotional Mess

Funny thing is, I am not an emotional mess over TTC, its just everything that has been building up has come to a head.
I finished packing my National Board box yesterday and it is ready to ship! Yet, I am scared to ship it off, so much work has gone into that box, it is not even funny.
My sister's shower is one week from today. I had some family drama via the phone this morning that got me all worked up. My mother is insisting that my sister has a head table, even though she already told me that she didn't want one. Whatever. GRRR.
I am working on a slide show for said shower, and I can't get the music to load just right, so that is frustrating too.
I think I just need a nice shower and to head out for my errands. Or a nap. Maybe a nap would be good.


I had a dream two nights ago that I gave birth to a beautiful tiny baby (it was gender neutral in my dream). It was early and a surprise. I couldn't reach B and I was at my parents' house (where I grew up). It was nice to hold such a small little thing in my dream. However, bf'ing wasn't working in my dream and I was stressing about the kiddo getting enough to eat.

Staying Positive

I was so fortunate yesterday to be able to get off the freeway before my car decided to stop. I was even able to coast into a gas station parking lot. And when I went to find help, a parent of 2 of my students was there. She was able to drive me to school (luckily it was a professional development day, so we had no kids). My secretary has AAA, so she had it towed for free to my principal's neighbor's house.
Everything was working in my favor, well besides the whole car breaking down. Everyone says it sounds like the alternator. So, we will see. B came and picked me up from school (have I mentioned that I teach 52 miles away from our home?) and then we went on to visit her mom (who lives 5 miles from my school). She has had a nasty cold, so we brought her some cough drops and orange juice. She welcomed the visit.
KD is hopefully landed safe in Boston, and we did not get an insem done last night, which was A-ok with me. Still no positive on the OPK, so the previous insem may have been a little early, but I'm not feeling guilty for doing it.
I am using this opportunity of being stuck at the house to get some housework done. I can't do much on my National Board work because I am still waiting to hear from my friend about revisions. If I get all my housework done, I am planning on making some baby shower gifts for my dear friend who is due in June (Hi Jame!).
Hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend!

The cycle that would not end.

Today is March 1st. This cycle started in January. I have seen 3 calendar month pages over the course of this one cycle.

I'm on CD33. Last "month" which was really January, I O'ed on CD35. So perhaps I will detect a surge today. I'm really not that worried. I know we will become mothers when the timing is right.

I am trying not to get stressed about the lack of ovulation, and staying focused on what I need to get accomplished. My mind has been so preoccupied with National Board, graduation (why does my online audit say I am short 3 credits?!), tenure, sis's wedding/shower, and basic living that I do not have time to obsess over the OPKs or temp changes. I want to, strangely, but my brain will not allow it.

So for the rest of you on this TTC rollercoaster, I grant you the opportunity to over obsess this month! Do TWO OPKs..you know you want to! Test early and often! Pee on as many sticks as you can! Do enough for the both of us please.

Just waiting around

CD29
Still no positive OPK.
I know my little egg will drop when she is ready.
God has perfect timing, right?

Anyway, in the meantime, I decided it was time for a little meme. I rarely do these, but my brain cannot analyze any more of my teaching for my National Board portfolio, my back cannot last another minute standing to do dishes, and I have no desire to watch TV, so meme it is!

8 Things I’m Passionate About
B
Human Rights
Equality
Social Justice
Books
Joey and Maggie (our two cats)
Jake and Grace (our two dogs)
Children

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
Legally get married
Pay off my credit card debt
Become a mother
Become a grandmother
Teach teachers
Go on a relaxing vacation
Live in a less populated area
Go to the west coast

8 Things I Say Often
"You love it"
"Get out your assignment books"
"I love you honey bunches of oats"
"Who do you love?"
"Holla"
"Time for bed"
"I'm tired"
"No"

8 Books I’ve Read Recently
Born on a Blue Day
To Kill a Mockingbird (still reading)
My Side of the Mountain (still reading)
Ramona and Her Father (still reading)
Loser
The Promotion of Social Awareness
Motivating Students to Learn
Ida B

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over
All I want for Christmas is you, Mariah Carey
This will be an everlasting love, Natalie Cole
Uptown Girl, Billy Joel
I Love Rock and Roll, Joan Jett
World on Fire, Sarah MacLachlan
Everything I Need, Melissa Ferrick
Red, Red,Wine, UB40
I Love You Always, Forever, Donna Lewis

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends
Humor x 4
Intelligence
Kindness
Love
Honesty

Accomplished

I am feeling very accomplished right now.
I started working on my National Board Stuff at 9am. It is now 11:41 and I finished the rough draft of one entry and sent it off to be reviewed and I finished revising another entry that was sent back to me last week.
Of course, I still have to start Entry 1 and polish up Entry 4, but I am feeling much better about where I am in this process.
However, I do have to figure out how to burn my lesson on to a DVD. I used Sonic at school and burned it successfully, but the DVD will only play in computers, and not in a DVD player. My videos are hosted online and I would be willing to pay someone to burn them to 2 DVDs for me. Any tips or takers?

High Stress

The next month and a half are going to be very stressful. Add on top of that 2 cars that broke down (one is STILL not fixed) and you have a very stressed household.
We're trying, but sometimes its like the universe just turns on you.
Below is something B posted in her other blog, so if you could..offer some support and some virtual hugs. You guys are amazing and I am sure some of you have felt this way before...

I am completely overwhelmed right now. J's car is STILL in the shop. We were supposed to have it back on Monday or Tuesday, and when the mechanic went to pick it up today it wouldn't start. Now he's saying the fuel pump might need to be replaced. When we dropped it off on Sunday afternoon it was supposed to be a quick fix and we would have it back in a day or two. It's been almost a week and God knows how much money we'll have to spend to get it back.

Our house is falling apart. The basement is dirty, moldy and the crack in the foundation continues to grow as the days go by. Of course we have no money to repair it. The rest of the house is liveable but little things need to be done like doorknobs replaced, paint touch-ups and new blinds. I feel like we live in a college house the way everything is falling apart.

J still isn't pregnant, and that alone is a stress. I'm worried about our KD and that our asking him to help us has added additional stress to his life. I am so grateful to him for doing this I tear up just thinking about it, and I worry that he'll decide it's too much to handle and back out. (I realize that this fear is irrational and unfounded, but it's still a fear I have.)

I don't know how we are going to afford everything we want and/or need in this next year. J's student loan checks are going to stop coming and we are probably going to have to buy a new car. We'll both get a raise (J's will be significant once she completes her Masters program and gets Nationally Board Certified), but the house and the cars will soak up any extra revenue we had planned to use to save up for our future child.

I feel so lost and out of control with everything going on in our lives and I loathe it. I am beyond the point of meditating my anxieties away - I need aspiritual intervention. In the car tonight J said that she is trying to stay positive, not only to help her fertility but to help her through day to day life. She said my recent ranting and raving about our dire situation is making it difficult for her. But sometimes I need a chance to just let
it all out, get it off my chest and breathe. I go through life so quickly, letting the days pass without letting myself get stuck down in negativity as much as possibly can. After a while things start to catch up with me and the next thing I know I can hardly breathe. I need a chance to let myself fall apart and have her there to hold me, comfort me and lift me back up again, no questions asked.

I know episodes like this are cyclical and eventually the universe will realign itself. I understand that I can take more control of my life by changing my perspective. I am just feeling very defeated, which makes it hard to believe what I know to be true. Perhaps a good cry and a cup of hot tea will help lift me a little. Until then, I mope.

In other news, CD18. OPKs still negative. CBEFM high. I couldn't take my temp this morning because I had a horrible night's sleep and was up every hour.

Great Website

As I was procrastinating from working on my National Board work, I happened upon a fun, hip, local website. Check out these cute clothes!