My favorite number

My favorite number has always been 33 since I was a teenager. I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner in this pregnancy that I would "turn" 33 weeks on March 3rd. 33 on 3/3...how cool is that?

Last night Nuggette did some major moving. I think she may have shifted to the head down position, actually (all while using my insides to get her where she wanted to go). I used to be able to feel her little rump right under my right rib and her head diagonally down above my left hip. Things are different this morning. Now everything seems more in the center.

I'm still trying to figure out my time off. If I work right up until my induction date, my last day of work will be April 15th. (Induction scheduled for the evening of April 17th) However, Spring Break is April 4th-9th. I would love to just not come back to school after that. But HR has told me that it will cost me approximately $300/day off. I'm not sure how this math works (since I know that is not what I make) and I have requested a meeting with her to discuss this, but I haven't heard back yet. My super generous BFF has offered me as many of her sick days as I need, but apparently my district doesn't allow this. I am also going to double check on that. I currently have 29 days of sick/personal time saved. I will need to take either 38 or 43 days off. If I can make it until April 15th, then it won't be as big as a deal, but I really don't want to. I guess it would beat having to come back for the last week of school though.

My first NST was just great and the childbirth class afterwards was good as well. We practiced pushing...lol. The nurse who is running the class is also a labor and delivery nurse at the hospital. She asked about my NST nurse and said she is one of her best friends. Childbirth teacher also said that our practice of OBs is highly respected by the hospital staff and many of the nurses and doctors use them to deliver their own babies.

Now I will leave you with a list of names I have been called lately:

Mother duck (one of the teachers said I look like the mother duck walking my students down the hall)
Mother Waddles (by two separate people-one was my dear wife!)
Oompah Loompah (another one by B!)

She's a squash!

Happy 29 weeks to us!
77 days left.

A couple people have commented in the past week saying I "have popped." To me, it's still the same ole big belly. In fact, I had two people today tell me they didn't even know I was expecting. HUH? Just thought I was getting fat?

My work friends are planning a nice low-key work shower and my sister is working on our big shower. I am so blessed.

We have done oodles of itty bitty laundry over the past two days and its all folded and put away. We have folded baby clothes in a nursery with a crib, for OUR BABY. Who would have thought? This journey started in 2007, but in my heart, I have been planning for this moment since I was a wee girl.

I am loving every minute of it. Even the parts when my back hurts or I have to run to the bathroom lest I wet myself, or when I can't put on my socks and shoes without help.

I am blessed.
Thank you God.

Conferences and stuff

• The last two nights have been parent teacher conferences. They are completely and utterly draining. Luckily, I am sitting for all of them, but still. I am glad they are over. Today we have our Native American trading day and our potlatch. the kids are very excited. I am so grateful to have found a movie to show during my three ELA classes.
• Tonight we are going to see Jason and deMarco at our church. A ton of our friends are going to be there, so it should be fun times. I just hope I can stay awake!
• The van broke down again. It has been in the shop no less than 8 times in the past month. We haven't had a pay check where we weren't paying for van repairs. It's time to get a new vehicle. We can't afford anything until December, so we just need to make it until then.
• B said the most wonderful thing to me today. She said, "You can sleep in tomorrow, I will take care of the dogs." Oh, thank God!
• Today is 15w1d (Or how we call it +3)
• I'm getting more and more comfortable telling people. My belly can't hide anymore.

Calmness

I'm not quite sure why I have been so calm this time. I am not worrying and stressing out over every thing. I have totally given it up to God. I know I am going to deliver a healthy baby. I just don't know when. I am so blessed each day I wake up pregnant.
Today is the first day I did not test. There is really no reason to. I am not going to obsess about the darkness of lines. I will wait for the beta on Monday.
Pregnant until proven otherwise.

A bulleted post

I will update soon-ish, but for now, bullets

• Betsy is finally home safe (but her replacement flight home had to make an emergency landing in Pittsburgh because it hit a flock of birds). This put her home even later than expected.
• Summer school ends tomorrow. We will have a big family picnic with pizza. As much as I enjoyed summer school this year, I am glad it will be over shortly
• This weekend we are supposed to go away for a mini-vacation/birthday trip for B. Now I am not sure if it is happening or not.
• Tomorrow is our Tastefully Simple party. This will also be the first time many people will see our new house.
• Next week is Child/Teen week at church, in which I am partaking. It is a week-long training that will go toward my Certified Spiritual Educator certificate.
• Today is 11DPO. I went to the research doctor yesterday for my CD28 check-up. He said my lining looked great (12) and it looks like I ovulated from my left side.

2 down, 1 to go

It's CD13 and as of today, we have two inseminations done for this cycle, and one more scheduled for Thursday afternoon. I'm feeling very good about the timing. Also, many signs of luck popped up for me today. We went to Panera for dinner. Our pager number was 33 (my favorite number). Then we went to Rite Aid to pick up some OPKs (using my 2nd $25 gift card from playing the transfer prescription game) and my receipt said I need 33 more points until my next reward. Then, we stopped at Hallmark to kill some time before NKD was ready and they had the most perfect lined journal with inspirational quotes on the bottom of the pages and our little Sprout bird on the cover. I also picked up a package of three positivity bracelets...all at half off. It was a great trip.
In non-ttc news, we went to a Partylite regional hall show yesterday that was Halloween themed. We love Halloween and decorating for Fall, so when given the chance to check out new product, we do. Let me tell you, I felt like I was in an episode of the office. All of these middle-age women SOEXCITEDABOUTCANDLESANDNEWSCENTSANDHALLOWEENANDOHMYGOD! B and I kept looking at ourselves in disbelief. They were so happy and excited, we couldn't help but be happy and excited for them too. One woman had been with the company for 20+ years and they surprised her with her family and gifts and hugs. She was crying, the presenter was crying, and I'm sure there were people in the audience crying too. All of the regional leaders were in costume, as well as some consultants, and many of them took their costume very seriously. Not in the Halloween kind of way, but in the, "how can I relate this to Partylite" way. There were calendars and chefs, and people dressed as dollar bills. I'm pretty sure there was a pimp at the table behind us. I can't describe the experience nearly as well as B, but I had to write it down somewhere for posterity. Needless to say, we left early with our free bag of tea-lights.

CD4

Day 2 of the meds. They have to conceal the normal shape of the pill since this is a double blind research study, so the actual medicine is put in a rather large capsule. Luckily, I learned how to swallow pills in the past year or so, so I am all set. I'm a regular pill-swallower pro. I never thought I would be, seeing how I had to CHEW my kl.ono.pin as a kid. Anyone who has ever taken klono.pin knows that it is a tiny, tiny pill. I'm proud of myself for being able to swallow my giant pre-natal and this new capsule!
Tomorrow starts summer school. It's just 4 hours a day, 4 days a week. Not too shabby. This is my first year as "co-director," but I think the title is just an added bonus. I'm still doing everything I usually do (with a few extra jobs thrown in there). My least favorite is contacting parents. Why can't all parents just have email?
My mind is getting in a good place for this cycle. I'm happy about that. B is reading a Wayne Dyer book (he's from around here and has ties to our church). Anyway, she said to me that guilt and worry are useless. We feel guilt based on events of the past (which we cannot change). We feel worry about events in the future (which we have no control over). So stick to the present. I'm really trying.

Ask and ye shall receive...

Temp dropped this morning...97.8.
CD1 is right around the corner now...hopefully today!
I also received this in my email this morning (part of a daily meditation I get emailed to me):

"The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us."~Aiden Wilson Tozer

PS. The temp shift pushed my O date back to CD18...oh FF, you are so silly!

Song Lyrics

We sang a beautiful song at Praise and Worship service tonight. I wanted to share the chorus lyrics with you.

I pray for you , you pray for me.
I love you, I need you to survive.
I won't harm you with words from my mouth.
I love you, I need you to survive.

It is his will, that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.

While the Praise Team was singing (and the congregation along with them), I couldn't help but think of a troubled young boy I have in my class. He lives with his grandmother and has had quite the tumultuous childhood. He has been moved back and forth among three families, in and out of different schools. He is diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bi-polar Disorder, and ADHD. His drug/alcohol addicted dad has recently come back into the picture and is trying to regain custody (again). Although his living situation with grandma and grandpa is not ideal, it is stable and loving...going with dad may not be. Last week he went after his grandma with a bunk bed ladder, threatened to run away and said he was going to kill himself. Grandma called 911 and he was taken to the local hospital's psych unit. He's been in school since the incident and I kept thinking about him last night while at church. I am going to pull him aside today and remind him that he is important to me, and I need him to survive. If you are the praying type, feel free to include little D and his family in your prayers.

Another one

We are doing another insem this evening. I still haven't had a temp shift, and I am convinced that the positive OPK on CD19 was just a false positive due to my PCOS. I'm expecting another positive OPK today, so the timing should be right on. I don't think this will be a false positive either.
Fun times.
3 cheers for a very accommodating donor!

We are expecting another 4-8 inches of snow tonight (I know it's nothing compared to the snow that has walloped the east coast this winter, but ours was just beginning to melt!) I don't really want a snow day (seeing how I am already out 3 days this week due to meetings), but I really don't want to drive in the nasty weather either. Whatever happens, happens, I guess.

I leave you now with a bible verse from today's Daily Word:

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.--Mark 11:24

CD5-a random update

Last year, in September, after switching OBs, I got a referral for a perinatologist.
My new OB was concerned about the second trimester miscarriage and thought this doctor would be able to help me during subsequent pregnancies. I never called. I kept waiting for each cycle so I could call and say, "I'm soandso many weeks along." Well I guess it's time to just call and have the pre-conception work-up done. Maybe by the time I actually get the appointment I will be soandso weeks along.
I'm bummed about last cycle, but not devastated, which in turn makes me feel guilty. Ah, the cyclical nature of hormones and TTC...
Small Groups have launched at our church. B and I signed up for an LGBT group (even though we are already involved with a church sponsored LGBT group). I was thinking there should be a TTC group. I'm going to pray on that and see if I should go through the small group leader training next time it comes around.
Tax return time is my favorite time of the year. We have decided to switch the room we were calling "the baby's room" to the office and put the office in the old "baby's room." I am very excited about this move. We decided to do this because the current office is much bigger and after picking up the beautiful crib that we had purchased a long time ago from a friend, we realized we needed more space in the nursery. I'm hoping to get this project done in the next month or so.
This has been a very random post today. Thanks for sticking with me! =)

It is what it is

My temp took a bit of a nose dive this morning, but is still a half degree above the cover line. I am also feeling a bit of watery cm, which is usually the first sign AF is on her way.
It is what it is, and all is good.
That has been my mantra this entire two three week wait.
God is the source, and I am but the channel.
I would be silly to think I can understand His timing.
I guess I will know for sure about this cycle later today or tomorrow.

After I wrote the post above, I checked my email and had this waiting for me....

Surprise

I am open to unexpected blessings. Life is filled with surprises, both big
and small. They may come through an unexpected phone call from a friend,
exciting news of a new opportunity, or a surprise invitation to an event. Each
surprise bears its own gift and blessing.
I am open to life's surprises and to the unforeseen treasures that come my way. As I become receptive, I release any expectations about how my life will unfold, for I know that God is in charge. The light and love of God fill me and those I care for, leading each of us along life's path. I look forward to the surprises that come my way. I may see some as treasures and some as challenges but I can be sure that each
surprise blesses me and opens my life to unexpected good.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.--Matthew 6:21

Praying

Praying for the people of Haiti.

From my church association website:

Friends, with situations like the one today in Haiti, we may ask ourselves, What can we do? While we'll soon learn of the many ways we can be of assistance, one thing we can do immediately and jointly is pray. We invite you to join us in prayer for all those affected by the earthquake in Haiti. As you pray, know that God is present in the midst. Envision each and every person in Haiti surrounded in this divine presence of love, comforted, strengthened and guided in next steps. Hold an image of divine love in action as individuals assist in recovery and relief by providing food, water, shelter, clothing and medical aid. There is energy in prayer that touches the minds and hearts of all involved. United we make a difference.

Surprised again.

Today is CD10 and I had my first HIGH on the monitor. I have been so concerned and consumed with the Met.for.min side effects that I didn't notice the impending ovulation!

My temps have been wonky because I'm on vacation and not taking them at the same time consistently and the temps in our house have differed greatly each night as well. I have to find the right balance of blankets and furnace heat. (I've now put plastic on some of the windows downstairs and am considering covering some of the windows upstairs...our house is old and poorly insulated.)

If the CBEFM is correct and my body cooperates, I will typically have 6 days of HIGH before the first PEAK. Sometimes I ovulate the night before the PEAK, sometimes I ovulate the day of the first PEAK and sometimes I ovulate on the day of the second PEAK. I will be saving my sticks and OPKs again this month to see the surge. (This worked quite well last month, with a textbook case of ovulation-go me!)

I emailed NKD this morning to check his availability. I am worried with the holiday, he may be out of town. I know his kids start back to school on the 4th though and he usually has them on Mondays, so at the least, I can squeeze a couple in. Hopefully though, we can do one on the 2nd, 4th, and 5th. We will see.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. We will be attending a burning bowl service at our church (which I blogged about last year.) Sadly, our former KD will not be able to share NYE with us, as has been our tradition for the past 5 years, because he lives in Boston now and is already back home. Luckily I was able to spend an afternoon with him while he was here for a short holiday visit.

We are having a small group of people from church come over to ring in the new year with us. Our minister is coming too and will be doing a midnight meditation. How cool are we? We have 2 full time ministers at our church of over 2000, one being Rev. Ric. Ric is openly gay and an all around great person. We are so privileged to call him our friend and are happy to be spending the last moments of 2009 and the first moments of 2010 with him. It's going to be a blue moon and a partial eclipse. What a special NYE!

*edited to add* NKD is available! God love him!

12DPO

I feel like AF is right around the corner. Yesterday I was having some cramping and the watery CM has started. All 3 times I have had positive tests have always happened by now (at 12DPO). I'm trying not to get discouraged, but it is hard when my body is giving me so many AF signs.
My temp was still high this morning, but it may dive tomorrow. Time will tell. The HPTs are still negative, with no hint of a line. (I guess this is better than those last two cycles where we got our hopes up, only to have AF follow shortly afterward.)
Today, in my inbox was the daily meditation from my church. I found it appropriate:

Dear God, Prepare the way in our hearts for the miracle of Christmas.
Soften those places in us that have hardened. Breathe new life into our dry
bones. We want to experience the fullness of Your presence in us. Help us to be
prepared to receive Your gift. Amen

Dance

Tonight is the LGBT dance at our church that we have been planning for the past 3 months.
I'm both excited and nervous.
It is our group's first dance in a very long time (and our first ever) so I am hoping it is successful. In the past, dances have hosted anywhere between 200-300 people. At $10/ticket, that's a great donation to our local LGBT drop-in center. I just want to make enough money to cover our costs. Anything above and beyond is bonus!

Let Go, Let God

From the Daily Word: "As I let go and trust God, I open the way for God's perfect expression within me and in all the circumstances of my life. I don't worry about the outcome, for I know that all is well. I know that God is in charge and that I am being divinely guided and blessed."

The CBEFM switched to Low this morning...I will stop testing (including OPKs) now, and perhaps only temp for a few more days. Then I will hop back onto Met.for.min.

Shooting Stars

As I was driving to work, I was thinking and praying, as I often do. I saw a license plate that said JM4...since my initials are JM, I said to God, "4 would be too many, 1 or 2 would be great, or 3 at the very most." (I play anagram games with license plates all the time...dorkish, I know.)About a minute later, I saw a shooting star, and then another.
I have seen maybe 4 shooting stars in my entire life..and then to see two this morning, right after each other. Either my eyes/brain are playing tricks on me, or it was just a little miracle.
I think our timing on this cycle is impeccable. I believe we will officially be in the TWW tomorrow....we will see though!

Home sick today.

On Sunday I woke up not feeling so good.

After being awake for a few minutes, I realized that I had a UTI. I've only ever had one other UTI in my life...

I knew I had a few options: 1. Try to wait it out, drink lots of water and cranberry juice, and see if it went away on its own. 2. Deal with it for Sunday and call the doctor in the morning. 3. Go to urgent care.

I decided on the 3rd one. The doc confirmed my home diagnosis...kind of. She said there was blood in the urine which usually indicates an infection, but it could also be an indication of kidney stones. No thanks. My back pain, she thinks, is unrelated, which is good. She did give me a shot of something to ease my back pain. It was nice. =) I don't know what it was, but it was good. She also prescribed me bac.trim for the UTI. Today is my last day on the antibiotics, and thank God. My tummy doesn't like this medicine. =/

As far at TTC. My chart is below. It has been whacked out. I have not detected ovulation at all, but my temps have been so much higher than usual. (I'm thinking this is due to the infection). Take a look and tell me what you think:

Do chemical pregnancies screw with the next cycle? As you can see, I am still having lows on the monitor and even the faint lines on the OPKs have disappeared. Hmm.

I am glad to be home from work today. As much as I hate being off from work and having a sub in my classroom, I think this was a wake-up call for me and my body. I'm doing too much. I am super involved at church, school has started, we are being extra social with book clubs and other things..and TTC. It's too much. I don't know what to cut though, because I genuinely love all I do. Maybe I just need more balance. I'll be waiting for some guidance from God in this department.

Oh, and look what happens when I merge my last two cycles....

Chart

According to my temperature, our timing was pretty good. However, my OPKs and CBEFM are forcing FF to give me a dotted crosshairs. Only time will tell. Good thing I believe in miracles. =)