Too soon

I know it's too soon for any kind of symptoms to be pregnancy related, but just yesterday I experienced:
~ extreme fatigue-the kind where you needtosleeprightnow!
~ extra hunger
~ tender bbs-parts of which felt like they were on fire
I woke up without the tender bbs, so I'm thinking it was just a fluke.
I enjoy the fact that my DPO coincides with the date. Today is August 6th, so I am 6DPO. Very easy to remember.
B also comes home today! At midnight-ish. I will take a nap so I can be awake to drive to the airport!

Something I just figured out by looking at my past cycles with NKD. We have only had 6 perfectly timed cycles (including this one). 2 of them ended up in positive pregnancy tests. One was a chemical pregnancy and one was our Sprout. 3 ended with BFN. Odds are pretty good. Since "the score" is 3 negative to 2 positive, I think it's about time to even it up!

Perfect

Yesterday, B and I drove about 30 miles north to hit up a new-to-us vegetarian/vegan/organic/etc restaurant. (I, of course, had a coupon-I use restaurant.com when it is 80% off.) Well the food was Ah-mazing. It wasn't crowded at all (we went at lunch time) and the atmosphere was lovely.
As we were waiting for our lunch, I was looking at the artwork displayed around the room from a local gallery. I fell in love with a painting. Like seriously "IneedthatRIGHTnow" fall in love. I went over to see who the artist was and made a mental note of the gallery. I told B we HAD to go to the gallery, because I needed that painting/print. I said, the only thing that would make it better was if there were two women in the picture, instead of just one.
After lunch, we walked around downtown and found the gallery. Shortly thereafter, we saw the painting on the wall, but it was small, and framed in a way that I didn't like. So we searched through the small bin of prints. Sure enough, it was there. But wait, good folks, there was another one, with two women! It was perfect. We even bought two mini-prints to frame next to our big one. Ladies and gents, we have our nursery art.
The artist is local, from Traverse City. We lovelovelove her work. The title of the big piece we got is "Sisters." (It's at the bottom of this page on the left)
Oh, and I had a positive OPK yesterday, spent the night out with fabulous friends, went dancing, had a friend meet us up at the club to tell us he got engaged that night, and then came home and crashed. I'm up early this morning to go meet up with NKD to do one last insem. (I got my PEAK reading this morning!)
Everything is just perfect!

Gaining Confidence

After yesterday's sticks. GAME ON. I still don't have a positive OPK and I am on day 7 of HIGH on the CBEFM, but I just know O is right around the corner. In fact, I even asked NKD if he would do one more insem tomorrow morning.
I also am trying to win a basket of vegan cookies from The Twinners Reviews and Giveaways. If you are interested in a basket of vegan cookies, or other give-aways, please click on over.
*Edited to add* OPK was positive today! Woot!

Confidence is slipping

This morning, my CBEFM stick did not look the way I wanted it to. I expected the second line to be darker and it wasn't. It seemed like the estrogen line was even darker than before (this is the one that should be getting lighter). The monitor still gave me a HIGH reading, but I was a bit discouraged. Then, when I did my opk this afternoon, it was lighter than yesterday. Now yesterday was pretty dark, but I would expect today's opk to be positive. hmm.
I am thinking it could be 2 things:
1. My body is playing tricks and is still wonky, even though I am on the drugs.
2. I surged yesterday, but didn't catch it on the opk.
I guess we will know if my temp shifts tomorrow morning or if the monitor switched to PEAK. NKD goes out of town on Saturday for a week.

2 down, 1 to go

It's CD13 and as of today, we have two inseminations done for this cycle, and one more scheduled for Thursday afternoon. I'm feeling very good about the timing. Also, many signs of luck popped up for me today. We went to Panera for dinner. Our pager number was 33 (my favorite number). Then we went to Rite Aid to pick up some OPKs (using my 2nd $25 gift card from playing the transfer prescription game) and my receipt said I need 33 more points until my next reward. Then, we stopped at Hallmark to kill some time before NKD was ready and they had the most perfect lined journal with inspirational quotes on the bottom of the pages and our little Sprout bird on the cover. I also picked up a package of three positivity bracelets...all at half off. It was a great trip.
In non-ttc news, we went to a Partylite regional hall show yesterday that was Halloween themed. We love Halloween and decorating for Fall, so when given the chance to check out new product, we do. Let me tell you, I felt like I was in an episode of the office. All of these middle-age women SOEXCITEDABOUTCANDLESANDNEWSCENTSANDHALLOWEENANDOHMYGOD! B and I kept looking at ourselves in disbelief. They were so happy and excited, we couldn't help but be happy and excited for them too. One woman had been with the company for 20+ years and they surprised her with her family and gifts and hugs. She was crying, the presenter was crying, and I'm sure there were people in the audience crying too. All of the regional leaders were in costume, as well as some consultants, and many of them took their costume very seriously. Not in the Halloween kind of way, but in the, "how can I relate this to Partylite" way. There were calendars and chefs, and people dressed as dollar bills. I'm pretty sure there was a pimp at the table behind us. I can't describe the experience nearly as well as B, but I had to write it down somewhere for posterity. Needless to say, we left early with our free bag of tea-lights.

Non-stressed

This whole move has done wonders for my stress and anxiety. I feel safe. I don't worry if we go to bed upstairs without a phone by our bedside. I am fairly confident I will not hear gun-shots or someone will not break in. I never realized how unsafe I was feeling in the old house. I didn't like being home alone, especially at night. I didn't like B driving home at night. Here, it is a completely different story.
Apparently my body is reacting to the non-stress. I got a PEAK on the monitor today on CD16. FF thinks I will O tomorrow. CD17 folks. That's awesome. I texted our donor, so I hope he is in town and available.
*Edit* He IS available. Love it!
My newest doc prescribed me some prenatals. (Pre.nate Plus) I went to the pharmacy and neither my insurance nor B's insurance covers them. How is this possible? I am so frustrated. Luckily, a local chain of mega-grocery stores offers them for free. I took my prescription there after I found out. We are not poor people, just budget conscious and until December (after our credit cards are paid off), every nickel counts. However, had I not known about the free prenatals and I was poor (or uneducated) I may have just skipped getting the prescription filled. I know there are ways to educate women who don't know about these resources, and I would like to help.
Another thing that bothered me was dealing with unemployment. For the first time in my 16 years of working, I was laid off. I had to file for unemployment. (Luckily, I got my recall letter last week-so I won't be needing unemployment). Again, for uneducated people, or those without internet access, the process can be daunting. I just want to fix everything and help everyone. One step at a time.

I made a decision

Today is CD14 and the first HIGH on my CBEFM. If I don't ovulate in the next 6-8 days, then I am going to hop on the Pro.vera and get this show on the road.
We are one of the most fortunate lesbian TTC couples around because we have an AWESOME known donor who helps us out of the kindness of his heart. Therefore, cost is not an issue when it comes to trying each month (besides, of course, the CBEFM sticks, OPKs, pre-seed, Instead cups, etc). We are very, very, lucky. Not to mention, his swimmers are in the top 95 percentile. SCORE!
Settling into the new house has been amazing. We feel so much safer and calmer. Even the dogs have calmed down. It's absolutely wonderful in so many ways. We even have a local fruit/flower/specialty market that is a very quick walk from our house. We probably walk up there at least once every three days. LOVE IT.
All in all, life is good. B has been on vacation this whole week and it has been perfect. She goes back to work tomorrow, so I will be lone wolf for a while. Luckily I have tutoring and a conference to keep me busy this week.
Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there and the moms that take the place of dads.

CD14-First High

This is a copy of the email I sent to NKD this morning:

I think this may be an early ovulation month (and I mean early for me, not
for a "normal" person). Today is CD14 and I just got my first high on the
monitor. Typically, when I don't get a high until this late in the cycle
(as opposed to starting off high on CD10 or something) I have anywhere from 5-7
highs before a peak. So I will watch the OPKs closely and the CBEFM
sticks. My best guess for the earliest date for the first insem would be
Friday, May 14th. Are you in town at all this weekend?
Thanks for everything,
J

OPKs

OPKs are relatively dark.
Somedays I wish I had an ultrasound machine.
Or at least a little indicator like on a turkey that pops up when I'm about to ovulate.
NKD comes back into town soonish. (I'm not sure when..but I think sometime this weekend)
However, he is gone more in the next two months than he is here. Bummer.
Perhaps we will have Divine timing.

I am at the Michigan Association of Middle School Educator's conference this week. Last year I attended this conference as well. We got pregnant the weekend after the conference last year...I'm just sayin.. =)

Last Day

Today is my last day of testing for this cycle. Since I still have not gotten the temp shift and NKD is out of town until the 6th, it's silly for me to keep temping and wasting OPKs. If I had another sperm source, I would, but alas, I do not.
I am thinking more and more about going back to the RE for some IUIs or IVF. I don't know if I would go back to my old RE (at the fancyshmancy clinic) or try to find some where different.
Everything is in limbo right now because we have some major life decisions to make in the next month or so. I will update everyone here when I can.
As for now, I'm benched.

Trying

I'm trying not to be fearful that this cycle is a bust, but the paranoia and disappointment is creeping up on me. Today is CD26 and I still have not had a temp shift. Our last insem was on Sunday, CD24, so technically if I ovulate today we could still have a chance of getting pregnant. I think that is unlikely though. I haven't had a positive OPK since CD19. My OPKs were dark, but not positive. Yesterday's was getting lighter.
NKD is out of town until March 6th. My pre-pregnancy appointment with the new high-risk doc is on March 1st. I am going to ask about being put back on the Clomid. I am also now on 3 a day Metformin. (and oh how my body hates me for that)

Another one

We are doing another insem this evening. I still haven't had a temp shift, and I am convinced that the positive OPK on CD19 was just a false positive due to my PCOS. I'm expecting another positive OPK today, so the timing should be right on. I don't think this will be a false positive either.
Fun times.
3 cheers for a very accommodating donor!

We are expecting another 4-8 inches of snow tonight (I know it's nothing compared to the snow that has walloped the east coast this winter, but ours was just beginning to melt!) I don't really want a snow day (seeing how I am already out 3 days this week due to meetings), but I really don't want to drive in the nasty weather either. Whatever happens, happens, I guess.

I leave you now with a bible verse from today's Daily Word:

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.--Mark 11:24

Coupon Queen

So, I admit it, I am a fan of saving money. Not saving money in a bank, per se, but getting things on the cheap. Some may call me a penny pincher, frugal, or even cheap. I really don't take offense to those titles at all.
Last night we made a stop at CVS for B's anti-vertigo prescription (poor girl's been walking around dizzy for quite a while now and just went to the doctor for a script). I love shopping around at the drug store.
I scanned my shopper card at the little kiosk and got some coupons. I added those to the ones I already had in my purse and began perusing the store.

This is what I got:
4 packages of valentine's day slinkies (for my students next year)
2 packages of cvs brand tissue
1 hair dye kit...the fancy kind
2 packages of life savers candy (the bag kind-again for my classroom)
1 bottle of body wash

After all of my coupons and $3 in extra care bucks, she told me my total.

$1.44

Even the cashier was shocked and said, "You did some good shopping!"

I love it.

No temp shift today. I am guessing that the positive opk on CD19 was a false positive due to the PCOS (I did a lot of internet browsing today to see that a lot of fellow PCOS women get false positives.) I just don't know how I will ever know when it is a REAL positive then. I emailed NKD to see if we can do an insem this weekend. I will continue to test with OPKs and hopefully will ovulate at some point. CD25/CD26 is right around the corner, so those are the other 2 days when I "typically" ovulate.

Question

When do "normal" bodies get their temp shift after a positive OPK?
I did not get one this morning, and we are now CD22. I got my positive OPK on CD19. It was not positive on CD20, and I didn't even do one yesterday (CD21) because I was so sure of the impending ovulation.
Typically, I ovulate CD21-CD23 or CD25/CD26.
If I don't get a temp shift tomorrow morning, I may see if Mr. NKD is available for an insem tomorrow. If I wasn't temping, I would feel so confident about our timing this cycle. Temping does make me crazy.

Almost in the TWW

On Tuesday I had a very positive OPK while at school, so B and I swung over to see NKD and did an insem. Then yesterday I had a negative OPK (but still a pretty dark line..clearly the down turn of the surge) so I did another insem.
Because of timing, location, and the fact that I had a sign language class to get to, I ended up doing the insem in the ISDs bathroom. Since I use an instead cup, it wasn't a big deal...awkward, but not a big deal.
I fully expected a temp shift this morning, but of course did not get it. I am just giving it up to God now. As soon as I get my temp shift and crosshairs from FF, I am stopping temping.
I feel very good about this cycle, but don't want to get to the obsessed-temping stage.

CD12-WTH?

I got a PEAK on the monitor this morning.
CD12. It went from 3 days of lows to PEAK.
I haven't seen that little eggy in quite some time, but I sure wasn't expecting it today.
I am guessing it is due to a faulty stick. The blue dye was smearing.
I am not sure if the monitor will continue to test accurately now. I know normally after one PEAK day it automatically gives you another PEAK day. I am not sure what will happen tomorrow morning.
My plan for today is to pee on an OPK while at school. If it is positive, we will arrange for our donor to stay at a hotel near our house (how awesome is he that he is willing to drive in the snow that is headed our way all day today and tonight?!)
I am guessing that it will not be positive, though. I did have a temp shift downward today, which for some people is an indication of impending ovulation. For me, I think it was an indication that I did not sleep with the down comforter or pants. =)

I am getting good

at interpreting the CBEFM sticks and the OPKs. It only took me 2 years, but by saving the CBEFM sticks for the last two cycles, I can totally see the surge. (Why didn't I do this sooner?!?)
Anyway, we are going to do another insem today, and perhaps tomorrow.
Our donor is amazing. Shout out to NKD! (He reads the blog)

*edit to add* Guess who got a positive OPK? Woot! Woot! Perfect timing. If I don't get a temp shift in the morning, we are good for another insem tomorrow afternoon.

OPK

Based on the OPK today, I am guessing tomorrow will be a PEAK on the monitor, or at least a severely positive OPK.
I am thinking that being on the Met screwed with the monitor, which gave me my early HIGH.
Hopefully NKD will be available for another insem sometime in the near future. If not, we know that God has perfect timing, and perhaps we will get it right next month.
I'm ready to be pregnant again. (Just in case anyone was wondering.) =)

7th HIGH

Today is CD16 adn the 7th HIGH on the CBEFM. Clearly, my body has confused the monitor, which I was afraid of. The OPKs are teetering near positive, but no clear positive as of yet. My temp was way low this morning, so perhaps today is the day I will get the positive OPK and tomorrow will be the PEAK...I wish my body was more predictable.
We did our 3rd insem last night, and are skipping today. I want to wait until I see a positive OPK or a PEAK before doing another. I am very grateful for a super accommodating donor.
Yesterday was my first day back to work after the holiday, and it went pretty well. I am already looking forward to the weekend though! I am so tired!

Surprised again.

Today is CD10 and I had my first HIGH on the monitor. I have been so concerned and consumed with the Met.for.min side effects that I didn't notice the impending ovulation!

My temps have been wonky because I'm on vacation and not taking them at the same time consistently and the temps in our house have differed greatly each night as well. I have to find the right balance of blankets and furnace heat. (I've now put plastic on some of the windows downstairs and am considering covering some of the windows upstairs...our house is old and poorly insulated.)

If the CBEFM is correct and my body cooperates, I will typically have 6 days of HIGH before the first PEAK. Sometimes I ovulate the night before the PEAK, sometimes I ovulate the day of the first PEAK and sometimes I ovulate on the day of the second PEAK. I will be saving my sticks and OPKs again this month to see the surge. (This worked quite well last month, with a textbook case of ovulation-go me!)

I emailed NKD this morning to check his availability. I am worried with the holiday, he may be out of town. I know his kids start back to school on the 4th though and he usually has them on Mondays, so at the least, I can squeeze a couple in. Hopefully though, we can do one on the 2nd, 4th, and 5th. We will see.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. We will be attending a burning bowl service at our church (which I blogged about last year.) Sadly, our former KD will not be able to share NYE with us, as has been our tradition for the past 5 years, because he lives in Boston now and is already back home. Luckily I was able to spend an afternoon with him while he was here for a short holiday visit.

We are having a small group of people from church come over to ring in the new year with us. Our minister is coming too and will be doing a midnight meditation. How cool are we? We have 2 full time ministers at our church of over 2000, one being Rev. Ric. Ric is openly gay and an all around great person. We are so privileged to call him our friend and are happy to be spending the last moments of 2009 and the first moments of 2010 with him. It's going to be a blue moon and a partial eclipse. What a special NYE!

*edited to add* NKD is available! God love him!