Funny or Frightening?

You be the judge.

CD17

Still no ovulation.
Perhaps it will take a while for this met.formin to work. Do the HSGs skew your cycles at all?
We have an appointment with the RE on Thursday (CD19). Perhaps she will jump start my period for this cycle too so we can start on the clo.mid and get this party started. I'd be happy with that decision.
Last night was our first HOT night of the season, and I still have not cooled myself down, even though it is now 50 degrees outside and all of the windows are open. I couldn't get to sleep because of the heat and was miserable. (This is not usually a problem for me, since I can sleep through almost anything!) I'd say after all the moving around, trying to find the coolest spot in the house, I got about 3.5 hours of sleep. Better than nothing, I guess! I just have to get through today and tomorrow and then I am off again for 4 days for the wedding.
11.5 more days of school
11.5 more days until the True Colors concert!

Sitting this one out

I'm more affected by sitting this cycle out than I thought I would be. As ovulation draws nearer, I am saddened a bit that we won't get to try this month. Our RE did tell me that this month was going to be the "work-up" month and we would be good to go for June. Here's hoping. 2008 has been quite a year for me: masters, tenure, hopefully national board certification, my sister's wedding..it would be great to add a pregnancy to the mix.
I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Catching up with me

In all the excitement of the NBC test, HSG, counseling, and camp, (oh, and the non-temping part), I have forgotten what CD I was on. I checked this morning, and it's CD12 today. Bring on those OPKs! I have never ovulated before CD21, but I start back on the Met.formin today (and have been taking it for almost a month) so we will see.
Next week is my sister's wedding. She is getting married in 7 days, I cannot believe it!
Next Thursday, besides being the rehearsal and pre-wedding crazy day, B and I will head over to the REs office to hear the official HSG results. Very busy week approaching!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!

HSG and Counseling

Everything went great yesterday. The HSG was no more painful than a regular pap (the forceps were the most uncomfortable-oh, and the fact that she had to hold my cervix while the x-ray tech prepared the dye and ended up squirting it all over the room and into her face. When she got a new bottle and needle, she said: "And for my next trick..." It was funny). All systems are a go. My tubes look clear and my uterus looks great. B and I go back next week to meet with the doctor and discuss test results and clo.mid. We will not insem this cycle, but next.

Our counseling session went well too. She was a very nice counselor who made us both feel comfortable. She is going to connect us with another lesbian couple that is in the TTC process. It will be nice to meet up with others going through this same process. Which reminds me, a friend of mine from undergrad is trying to get her partner pregnant, and we haven't hung out in forever. (So, J.K. and S-we need to get together very soon! Pride is June 1st...maybe then? or when school gets out for both of us?)

Today is 5th grade camp. I will be gone both today and tomorrow and will return tomorrow afternoon. Who would have thought I would need so much stuff though?!? One night and two days and it looks like I'm leaving town for a week. I do have a bag devoted solely to indoor activities, however, in case of rain. I am hoping that I can figure something out to intrigue and capture my students' attentions for 2 hours this morning before we leave. It's going to be hard, since they will be so excited, but I'll figure something out.

It was so nice spending the whole day with B yesterday. We spent a good chunk of our morning after the HSG at our friend Jamie's house visiting with her and Brayden. 2 weeks old. Such an amazing little miracle. My favorite part may have been when he peed on B. =)

Oh, and I haven't been back to temping yet. I did for one day and I just can't force myself to continue..maybe someday....

The Secret

I have learned that if I am going to use "The S.ecret" or the power of attraction, I need to be specific.
I bought a Me.ga Millions lottery ticket on Friday. Both B and I determined that we were going to win. When I saw the billboards change over to indicate that there was a winner, I was a little excited.
I checked the numbers this morning...and we did win. $2.
We matched 1 powerball number and nothing else. $2 is better than nothing though!

I did it.

I took my National Board Certification test today. Now there is nothing I can do to control my results (that I have to wait for until November or December-6 months!). It is out of my hands now. I felt such a sense of relief when I left the testing center.
When we returned home (I carpooled today with B to work), Gracie had a crate full of diarrhea. Poor girl. That was sure fun to clean up...ew. B said, "can you imagine what its going to be like to clean this up when we have babies?" and I replied, "at least babies poop in diapers." She reminded me..."not always." =)
We don't want to leave her home alone, so I will venture off to "girls' night" at my sister's house and B will stay home.
Have I mentioned how much I love her, because I do. A lot.

Being Honest

When some people blog about their news about pregnancies, sometimes I'm just jealous, or even angry, but today, I am so genuinely thrilled.
Today, J.K.C. and S.K.C. got what they have been waiting, and hoping, and praying for.
We are so happy for you ladies.
You give us hope!

I never knew

how much I really disliked temping, until I stopped about 2 weeks ago. It has been nice to not even set the BBT alarm..or have to remember my temp from the time I take it until my "real" wake-up time. (Yeah, I know I could write it down, but that's just too much work at 4:10 in the morning!) I am assuming I will be back to temping tomorrow though, since we are CD5 now. I also have to remind myself that tomorrow is my last day for the met.formin until after my HSG.

I guess that is all the TTC updates I have right now. Our "other" lives are crazy right now and I am just taking every day, one at a time. Hopefully there will be more regular updates soonish, as the craziness dies down.

Check and Check

HSG scheduled for a week from today. This will be my first HSG ever, so I am a bit nervous. I know everything will be alright. B is taking a day off of work to go with me, so I am very happy about that. I was even more nervous when I thought I was going to have to go by myself.

Does pro.vera or met.formin make your period much lighter than usual? I had no horrendous CD1, or a bloody mess when I awoke from sleeping. If I have to have a period, I will gladly take this one.

B also scheduled our counseling appointment for next Monday as well. Just one more hoop to jump through to use donor sperm. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do...

Another teacher at a mini-workshop I attending this evening asked me how many days of school are left in the year. I honestly do not know. I am taking each day, one at a time. Crazy would be an accurate word to describe my schedule.

My National Board test is on Saturday. I reviewed some best practices and some test taking hints, but other than that, I haven't done much. I will do alright, hopefully. On Sunday, I am going to try to be a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. Pat and Vanna are not in town, but the Wheelmobile is! I am excited!

Pretty soon its back to temping...I've enjoyed this little break!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you gorgeous women out there who mother others....your own children, children of others, animals, students, parents, and grandparents. Each and every one of you are amazing in your own way.

Last night was my sister's bachelorette party and we had a blast. As a Mother's Day present to me, my body decided to end the night with a visit from AF. Luckily she didn't make her presence until after we got home and right before we got in the shower to wash the smelly smoke off of us.

I think it is very symbolic to start this cycle on Mother's Day, perhaps it will bring us luck in the coming months.

It's been a while.

As of yesterday, the hospital thinks that Mr. Brayden will be able to come home today. Awesome. He is such a handsome little fellow. I am so excited for his family.

In our baby-makin news...I have been off the pro.vera for 3 days now, so hopefully the blood will arrive shortly so I can schedule the HSG. My face is breaking out like crazy, so I hope it is a good sign. We have also narrowed down our donor selection to our top 4 and B will schedule our counseling appointment today. I'm still on the Met.formin...and haven't lost any weight (I was hoping for that side effect), but it will most likely be much easier next week when Teacher Appreciation Week is over. Apparently people like to appreciate teachers with delicious, yummy goodness.

My sister's wedding is so quickly approaching, 3 weeks from today. EEk. Her "personal shower" is tomorrow at my mom's friend's house. I love my sister, but I just want this wedding to be over. I have to keep reminding myself that this will be her only wedding, so I should be revelling in each moment, but it is very hard when we are so very busy.

I take my National Board test a week from tomorrow. I haven't studied. I think I am past the panic mode, so I will do what I can this week and accept the results. Since the questions are constructed response, it is hard to "study" per se, but I should be practicing, and I am not. Total slacker.

In two weeks we are taking all of our 5th graders to camp. I don't camp. The outdoors and I do not get along so well. This will be an experience. The 5th graders go every year and they look forward to it all year. At least there will be cabins, and running water...and it's only for 2 days and one night. I can handle it...hopefully.

Fred Phelps is coming to protest at my University today at noon. I wish I could join the counter-demonstrations. Hopefully the peaceful circle will drown out his hate-filled message.

So that's it for now.

Welcome Brayden!

Congratulations to my best pal, Jamie, on the birth of her son Brayden.


Yesterday she was having some stomach pains and the hospital where she works began monitoring her. After she started contracting regularly, they sent her over to the hospital where she had planned on delivering. Once all the monitors were set up, they found out that the little man was in distress. She went in for an emergency C-section around 4pm. Brayden was born at 36 weeks and weighed over 8 pounds! As of last night he is still in the NICU and Jamie hadn't seen him yet. Hopefully B and I will head up to the hospital tonight to see them both! I am so excited for her and grateful that he was born relatively healthy (just some extra "gunk" in the lungs). He joins big sister, Sapphire, 6 (who I babysat all summer last year).

I can't wait to meet you Mr. Brayden!

Rocking Chair

My mom had a garage sale last summer in which several families, including ours, brought all of our items together to sell. Well, there was this white wooden rocking chair there. Since my family still doesn't know we are even trying, I told her I wanted it for my classroom. It's been sitting in her garage for almost a year now. Today I brought it home.
I also bought roman shades for the spare room/future nursery's windows. A nice sage green.
I am getting very excited about a medically supported insemination. Something I never thought I would utter, but alas, ideas and ideals change.
I, like B, took some time to check out some donor profiles online. There are basically 5 characteristics I need: IUI, Negative CMV IGG and IGM, RH negative, Caucasian, and positive pregnancies. Ultimately, I would like B to make the decision, but I have chosen some favorites. Has anyone ever worked with the Cryogenics Labs, Inc. in Minnesota? They were one of 3 banks our RE suggested.
I have stopped temping now, until after the HSG. I started pro.vera yesterday, and hopefully will see CD1 within 10 days. Let's get this party started!

"So that's it, eh? You and the frozen pop are havin a baby?"

That line is taken from one of my all-time favorite movies: Look Who's Talk.ing. It came into my head this morning while searching through dozens of donor profiles at various sperm bank websites. Did you guys know that there are literally THOUSANDS of men out there doin their thang and getting paid? And that because of that we have to sift through all those THOUSANDS of profiles to try to find a match who not only looks a little bit like me but who is also not a killer?

It is pretty fun though. We love KD and are incredibly grateful for his...er...assistance these past few months, but it's kind of exciting to be able to pick someone who looks a little more like me. So that when people see me with her/him they won't automatically assume that "daddy must have had the dominant genes".

I found a profile this morning that I fell in love with, who claims that he likes to "go against the grain" and that his future children will be "sensitive, unusual and kind." He had me at unusual. For me that's code for "complete dork who will be teased mercilessly for an extensive knowledge of biohazardous particles and their love of REM." SWEET. All seems well until I realized that this person could quite possibly be spending a good portion of their lives writing Fan Fic or playing W.o.W. - probably with my co-workers, nonetheless. It's not a total turn-off, just food for thought.

And then there's the profile essay-turned-therapy session where potential donor describes his family dynamic as "strained" and where "sincerity rarely creeps in" because his parents divorced when he was a kid and he only saw his dad once every other week. Not that I'm opposed to honesty, but I've got enough family drama in my life and don't need to add any more - even by way of genetics.

But with all the fun comes the stress of making sure the donor not only looks like me but carries similar beliefs and a sense of humor, which is certainly not easy. There are ways (if you spend an astronomical amount of money) to get more detailed information on your potential donor, but nothing will ever take the place of a face-to-face conversation. I sift through these profiles and wonder where these guys came from, what kinds of things do they feel strongly about, do they treat the women in their lives well, do they have strong friendships and social circles, are they able to laugh at little things, do they believe in social justice...but they don't tell you that on a donor profile. We don't have the luxury of peeking into the daily lives of these men, we just have to hold out hope that the way they're representing themselves on paper is an accurate description of their lives. It is the biggest leap of faith I have ever encountered, even bigger than deciding to have children in the first place.

Someday, no matter how it happens, I hope we'll be able to give our children a little of each of us and the inherent stuff will take a back seat, no matter which donor we pick.

Even if he likes Star Wars - a LOT. And even if our insems start to look a little like this:

RE Visit fo' real

Yesterday was a busy day. I had a Team Decision Meeting to determine of one of my students should remain in her home or be placed in foster care. I had never been to one of those meetings. All of the agencies involved, the family, and the school all sit in one room and brainstorm. This is important to note, because I scheduled this TDM during my prep and lunch (which run back to back). In the meantime, I am part of a team of 3 people that have been working frantically to get a grant application done by today. I needed to get a letter of support signed by my principal. So I had to find the time to quickly explain the proposal, get the letter on letter head, and signed by my principal. This was hard to do, since we were both in the TDM. Somehow I managed, got my children settled with the substitute and ended up leaving school about 20 minutes later than I had expected.

After construction and traffic and trying to find the office, I arrived about 30 minutes before my appointment. When I walked through the stained glass double doors, it was like walking into a movie set. Everything was done in dark wood with a slight Asian flair. The couches and plush chairs in the waiting room were modern and comfortable. There was even a giant pink glass egg on a pedestal by the front door. I noticed a few fertility god statues as well. As I sat there, I wanted to take a picture with my phone, but I didn't want to seem like a total dork, or worse, a crazy person. The bathroom was even beautiful. Everything gave off a calm feeling.

I ended up having to wait almost an hour to be called back to an exam room. Once back there, the nurse took my TTC and brief medical history. Then left me waiting for the Dr. (for what seemed like forever. In reality, it was probably 20 minutes). Dr. K came in to introduce herself and her Young Dr. Friend. Dr. K was nothing what I expected, although I am not really sure what I expected. Anyway, she was youngish, long blond hair, thin, and no lab coat. Young Dr. Friend was real young (younger than me?) and dressed very stylish. After they introduced themselves, talked for 30 seconds, they both left. Dr. K told me that YDF would be in to take my medical history shortly. I waited. Again.

YDF came in about 10 minutes later and took down my TTC history. She, too, was impressed with my knowledge. She said, "You seem very organised and even have the terminology and pronunciation correct." She made me smile. I like you YDF. As she left, she told me that the Dr. may want to do an exam today, but she may not, so hold off on changing into the robe until Dr. K comes back. Fast forward through more waiting. Dr. K. comes back, lets me use the restroom and asks me to change into the robe. THE TERRY CLOTH ROBE. No paper or gaping gowns at this joint. I love it. And it smelled like sweet heaven. More waiting. Exam was quick, I changed and then was escorted into Dr. K's office. (Again beautiful and almost right out of a movie set.)

Here's the deal: Since I have been on the met.formin for only 7 days, she wants to see how it affects my body. She said I should know in the next 6-8 weeks. Because we will be switching to a cryobank, I have to have blood work done, so she scheduled that. Also, because we are using donor sperm, we have to have one meeting with a counselor. She has one on staff. She told me three criteria to look for in a donor: IUI, Neg for Herpes strand (I can't remember the letters right now), and RH negative. All three I already knew, and even told her about the RH factor before she asked. She said, "Wow, you're good." Again, I love me some compliments. She then gave me a referral for an HSG and gave me a scrip for Pro.vera to start after she calls me today to tell me I am not pregnant (she ran a beta test while I was there, because there needs to be a negative test on file before they can do the HSG). There was a minilab right on sight with a freezer full of sperm. She has her own blood machine thingy too. The nurse told me that for the women that are on stims, they need their blood work done in a timely matter and the lab could not guarantee the time, so the Dr. bought her own machine and trained her staff. Awesome. As she was drawing my blood, I commented again about the beautiful office. She told me it was designed by women, for women. She said that since so many of the women already come into the office anxious, nervous, scared, etc., they wanted to make it as calm and inviting as possible. Dr. K is planning on putting a fancy coffee machine in the waiting room soon.

So that was my visit. All in all, I was there from 1:30 until 4:45. I even had to have B cancel my dentist appointment I had scheduled for 4:30. I thought I was going to be able to make it, but oh well.

Needless to say, I am excited. I can't wait for B to go with me next time. We will schedule the counseling appointment soon and start looking at some sperm donor profiles ASAP. I will probably start the Pro.vera today, which would put my HSG around May 17th. (Although, not that day exactly, because that is the day I take my National Board test). And fortunately, she does the HSGs at the hospital that is 3 miles from our house. Nice.