FF changed my O date to CD27...which means no chance of pregnancy this cycle (I was already on the prov.era at that point and no where near sperm). It also puts me at 11DPO. I stopped the prov.era on July 8th, and thought I would be bleeding by now. Ugh.
Can't catch a break here. The medicated/monitored cycle is next, so that will work. Right?
I keep thinking that I'm not getting pregnant because my mind is not right. I don't get excited when people tell me about an impending baby (except tbean, of course!). I usually get quite bitter. Do I need to get over this before God will allow me to have a real live living baby? I know that God is not a puppet-master deciding who gets what, but it just feels like that sometime.
I think I must be pms-ing or something. My mood has not been good the past few days.
7 comments:
Rotten.
I O'd yesterday I think, which is not a good thing because I have also been nowhere near sperm. Waiting for the nurse to call me to tell me if we should even bother to try tonight and go on the progesterone, or if I should call this month a FAIL and move on. It's super frustrating because the Clomid makes me have these awful hot flashes (worse than ever this month), and I hate putting myself through it for nothing. :(
I'm with you - super grumpy and negative. Why does it have to be so hard?
Maybe it will help to know you have some company… I’m right with you waiting for the provera to kick in. Thinking of you both!
*hugs*
If our minds had to be in the right space to get pregnant, I don't think that anybody dealing with any kind of fertility issues would EVER get pregnant.
(to be quite honest, my mind STILL isn't even in the right place, nearly 6 months out from her birth.)
There is no blame to be placed on you, not even for negative thinking. ♥
I'm sorry you are in the bad place. And incredibly touched that you still have room in your heart to feel happy for us right now. You are such a giving person and I hope that once the provera nonsense is over, a medicated cycle will be just what you need.
Fertility Friend is wrong so much, I wouldn't worry too much. You could certainly still be pregnant.
I WOULD begin peeing on a stick if you have a next cycle. LH surge coupled with thermal shift is a much better indicator than just the shift.
I know that feeling...quite well. I hated pregnant women, babies, the whole thing. I couldn't be around it. Just feeling that way will NOT keep you from getting pregnant. And I do hope that this next cycle brings you your miracle.
Hi - I just found your blog, and I have to say, I am glad to be reading about someone else who is "struggling" with this. It's hard seeing all the 2 moms + baby-we-always-wanted-and-finally-got sites.
i'm so sorry to hear about your cycle this month. i can completely relate to when you said "I keep thinking that I'm not getting pregnant becuase my mind is not right." I said those exact works to someone recently and she very wisely told me that I'm not that powerful. And most of me believes her.
We are just begun this journey... have tried 3 IUIs (using clomid CD3-7), and have had 3 BFN. Go in tomorrow for IUI #4.... I surged CD12 this month (instead of CD16 or 17) so I'm hoping that is a good sign!
Be generous with yourself and your heart.
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