I knew that when we starting this whole TTC process that there was going to be a lot of waiting involved. Heck, there was a bunch of "waiting" just to start this process.
I never realized just exactly how much waiting there was going to be...and the different kinds of waiting, and how difficult waiting can be when your hormones are all over the place.
First you wait for your period to end.
Then you wait for ovulation.
Then you wait to test.
Then you wait for blood/positive.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Until you do the big 9 month wait.
Right now I am waiting for CD1. Somehow on an anovulatory cycle, this wait is harder. Well, maybe not harder, but different. I just want to get this cycle over, but I am also a little scared about the next one. What if I don't ovulate again?! Of course this fear may be a little irrational at this point, but its still there, in the back of my head.
I appreciate the kind words y'all have left in our comments. Thank you.
I know this is going to be a long and sometimes tumultuous journey, so I guess I just have to get used to waiting.
5 comments:
I'm so with you on this post. The waiting game was the most surprising part of this process and an anovulatory cycle is so frustrating.
The waiting sucks. The big crazy emotional roller coaster of the TTC journey bites big time. Sorry it's not happening yet, but you have to keep thinking it will.
I just started charting. My cycles are crazy. I don't even know how I'm going to handle this.
I SO loathe this waiting. Trust me. And, I think it's normal to have these fears. I started charting in August of this year. And my first month of monitoring my cycles, I had an annovulatory one. Yeah, I was depressed and fearful. But, things changed. I still have some wacky-ness in my temps and cycles sometimes, but it really just takes awhile to get used to how your cycles are. I really can't believe how much I've learned about all this TTC stuff in just 6 mos. Stay positive and hopeful. It will happen, the waiting is just so damn hard. Hugs!
I totally understand your fear of annovulatory cycles. This is my second one in a row, the first one was on 50mg of clomid. I'm now up to 100mg and doing monitored cycles so at least that way we'll know if it's not worth moving forward with the IUI. I hope your CD1 comes soon.
I concur! Waiting is the worst. I think that an anovulatory cycle would be more difficult than a predictable one. The uncertainty would be maddening. I'm in the waiting/testing for ovulation right now and even though I know when it will come, I am tempted to tear my hair out and bite all my nails off. Here's to hoping that our next waits will be the 9 month one. oxxo
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