WHEW!

From my lj, written last night at 10:49 pm:

So, today was incredibly surreal.

First, J wakes me up by rushing upstairs and asking me to come down and look at the HPT she took because she can't tell if there's really a line or not can you please just come look ::pant pant::. So, I grudgingly put on my glasses and slithered out of bed, and not so nonchalantly coughed/sighed as I stumbled over to the stairs and began the descent into the bathroom. If I hadn't already been up at 12am to shower and change clothes (after spending the last 28 in grubby, "sick" pajamas) I would have probably been more on alert when J asked me to double check the maybe line on her HPT. But I was/am sick. And I was grouchy. And I really did not want to be woken up at 5:30am to look at a maybe line.

At first I didn't see it. I even said, "I don't see it" and put it back down. Then I did a double take because I saw something. I picked it back up and said, "WAIT. Yes. I see it now."

And then we just kind of stood there staring at it together. In total disbelief. And I don't think either of us were awake yet. We started giggling. We hugged. And then I went back upstairs and got back into bed. (Wait, why did I do that?!?) It really just hadn't sunk in...at all.

Anyway, so I'm laying in bed feeling like I was having the weirdest and most realistic dream ever. I hear her come upstairs and ask me if she can tell her friend from work. I say okay. She kisses me on the forehead and leaves. The front door shuts, then silence. A few moments later, the front door opens and I hear her walking down the hall and turning on the lights in the stairway.

"Honey!"
"What?" (grumbly, sleep-induced auto-response: ON)
"Someone stole the ignition out of the van."
"Huh?" (a little more alert now)
"SOMEONE STOLE THE IGNITION OUT OF THE VAN."
"Holy shoot!" (Only I didn't say "shoot." I said the other, much more ladylike word.)
"And they took your work bag!"

So, that woke me right up. What a fantastic memory. It wasn't the positive pregnancy test that shot me out of bed at 6 in the morning, it was the fact that some neighborhood thugs had stolen my Franklin Covey planner, and how was I going to remember all of the meetings and appointments I had scheduled in the coming months?

The next couple of hours were a flurry of phone calls, police reports and towings. After all that had died down, J took two more tests. Very positive. Almost instantly positive. Then it really started to sink in. This really was happening.

We had to go visit her dad in the hospital because he'd had an angioplasty this morning (and a stint put in his leg). Before we left, we each texted a picture message of our positive test to one person. J chose her sister and I chose ::insert my BFFs name here::. While we were in the hospital I got a call from BFF, who was ecstatic. We hadn't heard from J's sister but we knew it was because she was at work and probably not available to talk about personal stuff.

We got home and changed back into comfy clothes, and J took another test. Still positive. That's four positive HPTs in one day. 11 DPO. Ohmigod.

After we got home we just kind of sat around and let the news sink in. J went and got her hair did (so cute, btw). My appointment is in 2 weeks, on a Tuesday evening. As the evening wore on the phone calls started. First her sister, then BFF, then J's parents (who don't know but we've been talking to them all day b/c of J's dad's procedure).

Finally, as J started to fall asleep on the chair in the living room, it really hit me. We are going to have a baby. J and me. We're going to be parents. Something we've been trying to do for over a year and a half. Something we've wanted for so much longer.

We're pregnant.
HOLY CRAP WE'RE PREGNANT.

We went upstairs and laid in bed, and I started thinking about this crazy, totally effing surreal day. I started thinking about everything. Like, where's the swing going to go if we have the pack-n-play in the living room? We're going to have to move the bookcase to the office. Is the doorway to the kitchen going to be strong enough to hold up the bouncer? We need to make a list of things around the house to repair now before the baby comes. We need to figure out how we're going to tell our parents (just a surprise or do we make it fun since it's their first grandchild?). What happens when the baby poops and vomits all over everything and won't stop crying at 3:00am and we both work early in the morning the next day? What happens when it becomes a 15-year-old and doesn't want to have anything to do with us? But most importantly, WHERE IS THE DAMN SWING GOING TO GO? And here I am.

But I am excited. Overwhelmingly excited and terrified and happy.
Our little Sprout is finally going to come home.

Thank you all for the love and the kind words. This community is a never-ending showcase of some of the most thoughtful, inspiring and supportive women we have ever known.

J has an appt with the ob/gyn at 8 weeks. They won't see her sooner and since we didn't go through the RE's office to get pregnant, they won't do the betas for us. So, until the end of the month it's regular HPTs and waiting for that wonderful confirmation.